Up.All.Night.

Good thing I went to bed at 10:30 last night. I woke around 12:30 to the sounds of Anna's screams, not on the monitor, but from upstairs in the game room. Paul was not in bed next to me.

He had been trying to console her in between bouts of fussing/waking since soon after I went to bed. Nothing was working. I took her downstairs to our bed. No luck, she wanted out. She wanted to be anywhere there was light. So she snuggled with SpaceDaddy for awhile in the recliner with the TV on, then came over to lay down with me on the couch. By 1:30 she was still awake but rubbing her eyes, so I had to be the bad guy and attempt to put her back to her own bed now. She screamed for about 10 min then passed out. SpaceDaddy passed out too. I, however, couldn't get back to sleep. In fact until 7am I think I only slept an hour between 3-4am. That's because when she can't sleep, I am on edge and I can't sleep, out of expectation that she's going to wake at any moment. It's like watching the clock when you have insomnia. It really doesn't help you sleep, does it?

So I feel like trash today. I thought I might be whimping out by feeling like trash until I reminded myself that this kind of sleep disruption has been going on for about 7 nights now. In fact I can't remember a full night's sleep. So it must be starting to take its toll on me. I have started going to bed earlier to try to get some rest before the screams start.

I am driving myself nuts with the "WHY's". Last night she ate a ton for dinner, and even urped up some of it when she was playing because she was so full. Maybe last night she had heartburn? Am I kidding myself? My intuition says teething...Here's a list of her symptoms as of this morning.

Runny nose
A little more drool
Difficulty eating her cereal (fussing)
Still red, swollen gums.

I dragged myself up to her room ready for a fighting, defiant, cranky toddler. I was tired, cranky, miserable myself and was in no mood to negotiate over anything. We were getting dressed, fed, and out the door in a pile of tears and screams if we had to. What I got instead was a cheery, smiley happy Anna-Marie who was chatting it up like nothing had happened last night.

Her cheery attitude disarmed me and actually cheered me up too. That's impressive because when I'm miserable and someone wants to cheer me up, I usually tell them to take a long walk away from me. She was cheery all the way to her classroom, where she proceeded to scream as usual when I left her behind.

Now I am feeling actually more tired, plus chills, achey, just "blah," and my face feels warm. Could I be coming down with something? Could she?

GGGrrrrrr.....

To teethe or not to teethe?

OK , really, we *think* we're seeing red, swollen gums on the bottom where her canines will be coming in soon. We *think* this would explain her recent clinginess (I mean, super clingy...I can't even put her down without a fit...or leave the room before she comes running while whining my way. You get the idea). We *think* this would explain the all-night party she had with us last night, which started at 12:15 am, and was NOT coughing-induced. We *think* this would explain the cranky-pants attitude for the past few days.

I wish I were certain. At least we'd know what we're facing. When I took a good look while doing the usual hold-Anna-down-while she's-screaming-because-tooth-brushing-is-non-negotiable routine this morning, I was relieved and excited that this time I'd swear those gums are red and swollen. But there's not much drooling (yet) or much hand biting/finger sucking (though some this morning). So I kinda second guess myself.

Trust me folks, this clingy, cranky child is not our Anna. I can see little glimpses of her here and there, though. Like through the Motrin, which I broke down to give her his morning before summing the energy to take her to the Little Gym today.

She has been napping for the last 45 min. And now she's just coughed herself awake. She's sitting up. Crap. Please go back to sleep...Lord knows you need it, kiddo. OK, there she goes...whew.

Anyway, last night was a fun flashback to months and months back during her previous teething bouts, though I can say she really wasn't all that bad in the sleep disturbance area with teething. Waking every few hours to cry and then go back to sleep was her usual practice during teething. But other sleep challenges included the time she learned to roll over in her crib in one direction and then called for help to get turned back over. Or when she learned to pull up in her crib...that was a neat new trick she liked to try at 2am, and again, she'd call for help because she didn't know how to get back down. Or when she started learning to crawl. Or started learning to walk...making the inside perimeter of her crib. All the major milestones have come with some kind of sleep disturbance, which is not unusal.

The best investment we have EVER made in the baby equipment area was a video monitor. We can see what all the fuss is about without her ever knowing we are peeking in. So we can't ever get busted. It's wonderful, wonderful, and like watching an addicting reality TV show, only better. We have come to know her sleeping patterns and preferences. We can see if she's safe while she's screaming for us. We can see if she needs help or if she's thrown all her stuff out of the crib in anger. We can see if she really needs us to interfere. We can see what time she really falls asleep and wakes up in between playing in her crib. We have been able to watch her sing to herslef while playing with her feet. Now I can see if she's sleeping on her hands, or if she's in a good position for me to go up and clip those fingernails she fights me on when she's awake. If you're reading this and you're about to have a baby, or have a young one right now, go and invest in the video monitor. It will buy you HOURS AND HOURS of comfort and entertainment :).

It looks like we get fall back

The weather today has been beautiful!

Anna is back at school. I hope it went well...I mentioned her latest oppositional behavior stints to her teachers and they just looked at me like, "yeah, and...?"

Did I mention I am new at this?

Just in case, I left them with a new bottle of Children's Motrin :)

Terrible Two's or Teething?

Anyone know why our usually happy toddler has become extra clingy, outright defiant, and actually cries more these past few days? Hitting, swinging, "NO!", throwing, running away from putting shoes on and diaper changes (God forbid me to try and put her hair up in one of those cutsie pony-tails, or clip her nails, or ask her to brush her teeth). She even cried at bath time, which she usually loves! She has been waking from her naps with cries, complete with tears, that continues on for a good 30 min even after she's sitting in my lap and I've caved in to giving her the paci. Usually she wakes from naps all happy and singing in her bed. Her morning wake ups have remained happy. Just the naps suck. She even fought naps and bedtime last week, though no issues the past 3-4 days. Hey all you experienced moms, will Motrin cure this or are we in for the Terrible Two's?

She would totally act this way when she was teething as a baby. But now she's a toddler and I think the last round of teeth were probably 4-5 months ago (the molars) so I'm not quite sure what to expect from her at this age. She is, afterall, more of a little person who may express her pain and misery differently now. So is this it, or have the terrible two's hit us at 2 days shy of 19 months old? I have always heard it all starts at 18 months, so I have been bracing myself. We're not seeing any irritation around her canine teeth that are supposed to come it at this time. She has always been right on schedule with her teething. In between the bouts of frustrated tantrums and clinginess, I can see glimpses of happy Anna.

I am so confused! If this is the Terrible Two's, fine! Bring it on! If this is Teething, fine, bring that too! I would just like to know what we're up against, one way or another.