By the way, if you're keeping score

Third night in a row of peaceful sleep last night (yay, more Vick's on the feet and chest and no coughing!). Myself included. I think I only woke once or twice. She didn't even fight going to sleep. Her ear wasn't even as gross this morning.

Today at drop off, since we were late, I got to leave her in music class, which is her favorite thing in the world. They gave her a pretty pink scarf, and I passed her off to the teacher and didn't hear a peep.

Yes, it counts...two days in a row of no screaming at drop-off. Darn it, it's Friday. I fear we may lose this peaceful streak with the interjection of the weekend. Ah well, the two good days were great while we had them!

Toddlerhood is tough

This morning she said "otameel, oatmeel". It's the cutest thing ever. She sounds like a little person. Ever had a pet for a long time and you always wondered what they would sound like if they could talk? You get the idea. I love when she says new words so clearly and almost perfectly. It's like I'm talking to a 2 year old or something. She's still 19 months. Well, 19.5 to be exact. She watched me make her oatmeal and was fascinated. And it was only the microwave and water.

She usually enjoys oatmeal, but this morning as I sat her down to eat, she took one bite and started screaming. Unhappy. She kept eating. Unhappy. I'm tired of asking her what's wrong, like I can fix it, so I gave her some milk and fruit and let her just do what she was doing. She calmed down after a bit. I think she was so hungry that she was ticked she had to use her hands to slowly get bits of oatmeal into her mouth (I tried to thicken it, credit here)...since she still stinks at getting the spoon to her mouth without dumping all her food out.

Paul left while she was eating and I was only half dressed, which was fine, except these days the child gets oral antibiotics, ear drop antibiotics, and forced tooth brushing and forced hair brushing. The ear drops go OK, but the oral meds are hit or miss. If you leave it out for her long enough in the little cup, she'll get curious enough to go over and take it all. But sometimes if you just ask her to take it, these days she'll either be cooperative and drink up, or just downright refuse. She used to love taking meds, it was so easy. Now it's on her terms (just like the tooth brushing). Adding more time it takes to get out the door. I was tired of the games this morning, so I had to resort to holding her down to get the meds in. That was no fun but at least she didn't spit it back at me.

All of this resistance made us late getting out the door. At least she still enjoys putting her shoes on at this time.

After changing her poopy diaper (just great), which amounted to more resistance, I could actually feel my anger building, and the loss of control that would soon follow if we didn't just get out the door soon. I don't think I even finished getting myself dressed. We just fled and were still late.

I am getting tired of "nice mommy" and she is only 19.5 months old. It's about time to put the smack down. Too many games just wear me out and drag on and on. You can't blame me for trying...trying to just give her a chance to do the right thing...or trick her into doing the right thing. Any parent who's been here before recognizes my mistakes and realizes I'd eventually come to this conclusion myself...that for the most part it's going to be mommy's way or else.

My own R&R

Before I forget, Anna's newest words: steeberries (strawberries she had last night for dinner, yum!), siren (wee-oo-wee-oo), socksnshoes (socks and shoes. She's always said socks and always said shoes but now it's socknshoes!).

Her ear didn't seem to be as messy this morning. She slept all night (night #2). Thanks to my mommy peeps encouraging me to try the Vick's on the feet thing, I gave it another shot even though it didn't seem to work last week. I'm not sure if it worked last night but all was quiet. It seemed to work when she was a baby the few times we tried it. Or again, maybe just coincidence. Regardless, last night her bath was in mentholated J&J, and she got Vicks on the feet and chest. She fought going to sleep (screamed) for about 3 min then not another peep. Score!

Again, this morning the cough ticked her off, as well as the fact that she was wearing long sleeves. She must get that part from her daddy. But the congestion was minimal.

I fought a fever all day at work yesterday and right now I am about to get a little rest at home before my afternoon with her starts because when the fever hits, it's no fun.

I found a new CD with some of Anna's favorites and I played a preview for myself in the car yesterday before I picked her up. Is it screwy to have been so excited about playing it for her?

We have answers!

I'd have screamed for the past several nights straight, too.

Last night as I was bathing Anna, I noticed a pool of blood in her right ear. I called Paul over to do a sanity check, and yep: he agreed. As she sat there happily playing with her fireman in the tub (lots of bubbles and dancing and singing), we decided it must have something to do with her tubes...maybe complications of them trying to work themselves out. I wasn't going to stand for another night of misery for all of us so we brought her into the ER around 8pm. She was seen quickly, and by lots of actually friendly hospital workers who were super nice to her. She didn't care for them, until it was time to confidentally tell them "BYE BYE!".

Anyway, turns out she officially has her first ear infection. This was not on my list of possible things keeping her up at night. I missed this because she wasn't congested, had no fever, and wasn't even pulling at her ears. It wasn't even on my radar.Yes, she screamed at night, and yes she was cranky and clingy during the day, but teething is a good cause for that. She does have tubes, but that's because of chronic congestion while she was a baby that was causing trouble with her hearing, with the potential to affect her ability to learn to speak. (Turns out no problem there!)...not for recurrent ear infections. Before the tubes, she literally couldn't hear us throw a pot on the garage floor!

I had an ear infection in May. The first ever in my life for me and it hurt worse than child birth labor. NOTHING without a prescription helps that pain. The only thing that helped my pain was actual Vicodin that I had left over from Anna's birth (that I didn't need then). Ear infections are incredibly painful. Believe me. I am a pretty tough chick. The doc said that it was a good thing she had the tubes on this one...it was bad. All the little kiddos out there with an ear infection have my empathy. It sucks. No wonder she didn't want us to leave her side the past several days and nights!

While at the ER we got a chest x-ray for her cough. I didn't expect they'd find anything and they didn't, yay. I like data and results, people. She sat still like a good girl during the x-rays. In fact she was really good the entire time at the hospital, except when our (12 year old) doctor did his eval.

Last night we got home around 10pm and she actually slept soundly all night, with the exception of the coughing, which amounted to one fit. In the meantime, by the time we got home, my fever had also spiked to 101.2 and I felt it. The cold/chills was the worst. It broke around 2am. I came to work, and Anna went to school. I think my fever is back, but Anna was in a cheery mood this morning, with just a little congestion that actually seems to be growing. No fever.

I suspect she may have had already what I'm coming down with and we just missed the fever, or she never had one. In fact we checked her temp this weekend and nothing. I too, am developing a cough. Ugh. No one touch my door knobs.

Despite my fever and her cough, we had a peaceful night's sleep. I think the ear drainage is offering her some major relief. I know I was just wishing my eardrum would burst when I had the infection, just to get some relief. This morning she woke up with more crap draining out of her ear. It's gross but pretty cool to see what that crap actually looks like.

Here's the thing, people. Before I had a kid, I'd hear these same horror stories from friends and co-workers. I thought, "eh, kids. That sucks. Who'd want that?" But once we were in it, it wasn't that bad. Maybe it's because the folks at the hospital were so friendly and quick, and it was still early in the evening, etc. Maybe it's because she was still in pretty good spirits at the hospital. Maybe it's because we love her so much it's worth it.

Up.All.Night.

Good thing I went to bed at 10:30 last night. I woke around 12:30 to the sounds of Anna's screams, not on the monitor, but from upstairs in the game room. Paul was not in bed next to me.

He had been trying to console her in between bouts of fussing/waking since soon after I went to bed. Nothing was working. I took her downstairs to our bed. No luck, she wanted out. She wanted to be anywhere there was light. So she snuggled with SpaceDaddy for awhile in the recliner with the TV on, then came over to lay down with me on the couch. By 1:30 she was still awake but rubbing her eyes, so I had to be the bad guy and attempt to put her back to her own bed now. She screamed for about 10 min then passed out. SpaceDaddy passed out too. I, however, couldn't get back to sleep. In fact until 7am I think I only slept an hour between 3-4am. That's because when she can't sleep, I am on edge and I can't sleep, out of expectation that she's going to wake at any moment. It's like watching the clock when you have insomnia. It really doesn't help you sleep, does it?

So I feel like trash today. I thought I might be whimping out by feeling like trash until I reminded myself that this kind of sleep disruption has been going on for about 7 nights now. In fact I can't remember a full night's sleep. So it must be starting to take its toll on me. I have started going to bed earlier to try to get some rest before the screams start.

I am driving myself nuts with the "WHY's". Last night she ate a ton for dinner, and even urped up some of it when she was playing because she was so full. Maybe last night she had heartburn? Am I kidding myself? My intuition says teething...Here's a list of her symptoms as of this morning.

Runny nose
A little more drool
Difficulty eating her cereal (fussing)
Still red, swollen gums.

I dragged myself up to her room ready for a fighting, defiant, cranky toddler. I was tired, cranky, miserable myself and was in no mood to negotiate over anything. We were getting dressed, fed, and out the door in a pile of tears and screams if we had to. What I got instead was a cheery, smiley happy Anna-Marie who was chatting it up like nothing had happened last night.

Her cheery attitude disarmed me and actually cheered me up too. That's impressive because when I'm miserable and someone wants to cheer me up, I usually tell them to take a long walk away from me. She was cheery all the way to her classroom, where she proceeded to scream as usual when I left her behind.

Now I am feeling actually more tired, plus chills, achey, just "blah," and my face feels warm. Could I be coming down with something? Could she?

GGGrrrrrr.....

To teethe or not to teethe?

OK , really, we *think* we're seeing red, swollen gums on the bottom where her canines will be coming in soon. We *think* this would explain her recent clinginess (I mean, super clingy...I can't even put her down without a fit...or leave the room before she comes running while whining my way. You get the idea). We *think* this would explain the all-night party she had with us last night, which started at 12:15 am, and was NOT coughing-induced. We *think* this would explain the cranky-pants attitude for the past few days.

I wish I were certain. At least we'd know what we're facing. When I took a good look while doing the usual hold-Anna-down-while she's-screaming-because-tooth-brushing-is-non-negotiable routine this morning, I was relieved and excited that this time I'd swear those gums are red and swollen. But there's not much drooling (yet) or much hand biting/finger sucking (though some this morning). So I kinda second guess myself.

Trust me folks, this clingy, cranky child is not our Anna. I can see little glimpses of her here and there, though. Like through the Motrin, which I broke down to give her his morning before summing the energy to take her to the Little Gym today.

She has been napping for the last 45 min. And now she's just coughed herself awake. She's sitting up. Crap. Please go back to sleep...Lord knows you need it, kiddo. OK, there she goes...whew.

Anyway, last night was a fun flashback to months and months back during her previous teething bouts, though I can say she really wasn't all that bad in the sleep disturbance area with teething. Waking every few hours to cry and then go back to sleep was her usual practice during teething. But other sleep challenges included the time she learned to roll over in her crib in one direction and then called for help to get turned back over. Or when she learned to pull up in her crib...that was a neat new trick she liked to try at 2am, and again, she'd call for help because she didn't know how to get back down. Or when she started learning to crawl. Or started learning to walk...making the inside perimeter of her crib. All the major milestones have come with some kind of sleep disturbance, which is not unusal.

The best investment we have EVER made in the baby equipment area was a video monitor. We can see what all the fuss is about without her ever knowing we are peeking in. So we can't ever get busted. It's wonderful, wonderful, and like watching an addicting reality TV show, only better. We have come to know her sleeping patterns and preferences. We can see if she's safe while she's screaming for us. We can see if she needs help or if she's thrown all her stuff out of the crib in anger. We can see if she really needs us to interfere. We can see what time she really falls asleep and wakes up in between playing in her crib. We have been able to watch her sing to herslef while playing with her feet. Now I can see if she's sleeping on her hands, or if she's in a good position for me to go up and clip those fingernails she fights me on when she's awake. If you're reading this and you're about to have a baby, or have a young one right now, go and invest in the video monitor. It will buy you HOURS AND HOURS of comfort and entertainment :).

BTW She hated the honey

Eighteen dollars and 3 different bottles of honey later (leading to Buckwheat), the child would prefer to take actual cold medicine over the taste of honey. She looked right at the dose, went to drink it, and turned away and said NO! We dipped it into her paci, and she reluctantly sucked on it. Then she proceeded to gag and actually almost vomited! She hasn't "almost vomited" at anything since she was a newborn!

She was repulsed. Amazing. She will drink the cough medicine straight up just for fun if we let her.

She has a 2:40 doc's appt today, likely for them to tell me she's got a cough, let's wait it out, thank you very much for the $20 co-pay. She's had the cough going on 2 weeks and it's bad a night. No snotty nose...only chest congestion. I guess we'll see!

At least she's napping without a fight.

It looks like we get fall back

The weather today has been beautiful!

Anna is back at school. I hope it went well...I mentioned her latest oppositional behavior stints to her teachers and they just looked at me like, "yeah, and...?"

Did I mention I am new at this?

Just in case, I left them with a new bottle of Children's Motrin :)