First day of school Part 2

Anna’s first day of school seemed to go very well! In fact, that was the most tired and cranky I’ve seen her since last school year (obvious she skipped nap), so that’s a good sign she’s not bored.

 

When I went to pick her up, she declared that her friend, K, was coming with her. She had K by the hand and they were ready to come home with me. K is her best friend from all the previous classes since they were babies, but were split at the start of the summer, and are still not in the same class until the end of the day, when all the 5:30 kids get loaded into Anna’s classroom till the parents come to pick them up. This is good because both K and H now end up in Anna’s afternoon class, which is just playtime from 3:30-5:30 pick up.

 

I broke her heart when I told her that K couldn’t come home with us because she has to ask her mommy first. Tantrum. Oh yes, a tired tantrum. This isn’t necessarily bad; her last tantrum at pick up was in her last year’s class because she wasn’t ready to come home. All summer she was ready to jump into my arms and haul it out the door for pick up! I promised her I’d email K’s mom to see if she can come play this weekend. Here we go.

 

Mrs. IA told me about her day: Anna’s job for the day was to be the door holder. They talked about the weather and the calendar and Anna came home with strips of paper all cut up and colored on. In fact, she had cut along some of the lines she drew. Seeing that it’s Anna’s new favorite hobby, it was more evidence of a good day. On the way home she told me that W ate the rice from the rice table, and he wasn’t supposed to do that, and she played with K on the playground, and something about the Gerbil, and that she ate all her noodles at lunch.

 

Today at drop-off, no tears. She asked me if she could color and cut and glue and I told her she had to ask Ms. Abshire (Ms. Eye-shower, to Anna) and she said yes, after circle time.

 

She seemed pretty content so let’s see how day 2 goes!

 

 

First day of pre-school-3 (PS-3)

I barely made it out of a meeting and over to Anna’s class on time to meet Paul for drop off at her first day in her new classroom. Paul stalled so I could get there. The place was JAMMED PACKED with kids, parents, and cars, all for the first day of school, 9am.

 

She swore all weekend she was so excited to get to her new big kid classroom and said she wouldn’t even CRY in the new classroom when we dropped her off.

 

As we walked down the halls, I could feel her hesitation set in. She turned to ask if we were going to meet her for lunch today (we did that last week because it coincided with meeting her new teacher). I told her no, not today, maybe later in the week. But I saw what she really meant was “when are you coming back???”

 

At the new classroom, some old friends were already in there playing while waiting for class to officially start (pre-school is 9am-noon and then nap and free play till pick-ups). She gave me hugs and then I followed her into her room, out of curiosity. Paul told me not to linger, as he watched from the hallway.

 

She turned for more hugs and I could see her trying not to get all worked up. She wouldn’t exactly let me go. I reminded her that she said she wasn’t going to cry in this big kid classroom. She nodded. Mrs. IA started to show Anna the different stations: The gerbil, the rice table, the crayons, the glue and scissors. I got a few more hugs and backed away while she got into the rice table with Mrs. IA.

 

I was surprised at how nurturing and accommodating Mrs. IA seemed to be in getting Anna comfortable. That made me feel good about the whole thing, given I wasn’t too excited about her in the first place. I am resisting the urge to peek my head into the window of her classroom today to see how it’s going. Mostly it’s because I’ve already run 3 miles, a boot camp class, climbed 6 flights of stairs to a meeting, and already sprinted once over to her classroom this morning, and frankly, I just want to sit. J But later this week I will join her for lunch and maybe tomorrow I’ll poke my head in.

 

But she was still on the verge of tears when we left her. This could go either way from now on. We can have crying/leg-prying child or happy to be there child. It doesn’t matter because I’m over the tears at this point. Plenty of summer practice.

 

At Soccer Tots, she wouldn’t go onto the little field alone. Daddy had to be by her side the entire time. As the hour progressed, she got more comfortable and did a great job, but still wouldn’t let Paul go. Last night she asked if she could go back and I told her we’ll see how the week goes because Daddy can’t stay on the field like that all the time. (Incidentally there were some AWFUL kids in that class, who totally misbehaved while parents looked on. WTF, people? Get in there and do your JOB so the coach can do HIS. We’ll give it one more week but if some kid were to go after Anna like I saw this weekend, I’d first fly off on the kid and then on the parent. In a very professional way, of course. Full of BIG words!!!).

 

Paul and I have accepted that she doesn’t stand a chance socially since both he and I have always been shy/reserved. We may have good skills otherwise, but we remember the same feelings at her age. The bottom line is we need to pick something that plays to her best skills and gives her confidence, whatever the hobby. It’s good to expose her to different atmospheres (we weren’t exactly) so she can get more familiar with different situations, but ultimately she may just be better at writing, music, debate or individual sports like martial arts or horseback riding. Who knows? We know it’s good to push a little, it’s good to be uncomfortable, it’s good to fail, but it’s also good to recognize her strengths and set her up for success too, as much as we can, and let life take over.

 

In the meantime I ran over to the little teacher supply store and bought her a bunch of activity books. She LOVES to trace pictures and letters and stuff, and also likes to cut along the lines, then glue the cut-outs to the paper to make a little picture. The intensity on her face while she’s tracing carefully is AWESOME. I know that intensity from band, and Paul felt it from sports. And so when we see that look on whatever activity she’s interested in pursuing, we’ll stick with it. For now, we know that one of her strengths is she LOVES to learn. Whew. She’s ingesting her letters and numbers and pointing them out everywhere we go. It’s a game. She doesn’t know them all yet, but it seems every day she gets a new one. THIS is wayyyy more fun to me than playing dress up (and she does that too, plus “washes” our hair, “cooks” our food, takes us to her friends’ “parties” and stuff. It’s fun to hear her tell stories to her stuffed animals too.

 

Still paci-free!

 

Separation Anxiety

Would it help if I just acknowledged it? Gave it a name?

 

In June, Anna’s favorite, nurturing teachers departed, Paul and I went on a 2 day trip to Minnesota, while my mom stayed with Anna, and then right away I went on a two week trip to Germany/Italy. Week 1 was when her clinging and crying started when Paul would bring her to school. She had new teachers but they were super great and it was frustrating that we were going through this when we thought we had safely made it past what is apparently “Separation Anxiety.”

 

This has continued all summer. There are a handful of days when she hasn’t done it, who knows what was special about THOSE days? But for the last 2 months, our 3.5 year old has been crying that she doesn’t want to go to school, and has asked from the minute she wakes up if she has to go to school today.

 

It has been annoying. I tried the consolatory approach with her (mommy will be back, don’t cry, I always come back). I tried the bribery approach (Subway for dinner if you don’t cry!). I tried the reverse psychology approach (it’s OK to cry, you can just sit there and cry and Ms. D said you can cry too until you’re done). I’ve tried the distractions (oh look, you can hold the book for Ms. D to read to the class!). Finally I’m on to mad (I don’t care if you cry, you’re going to school and you can cry all you want).

 

It’s almost heart breaking if it weren’t so darned maddening! She’s got to give hugs and kisses, then SQUEEZES and high fives and bunny kisses and cover all the bases. Some days are better than others but overall it sucks.

 

I couldn’t figure it out till I googled it. And there it was “My 3.5 year old has terrible separation anxiety.” Even the ones like Anna who have been in daycare/school since month 3 of their little lives. The more I read I think I’m able to tie it back to the loss of her awesome teachers from last year. There were several frustrating days when I couldn’t even get Anna to GET INTO THE CAR TO COME HOME without carrying her screaming down the hall past the other happy children and glaring parents.

 

So there, let’s label it. Separation Anxiety. Apparently after the 18 month old one (we had a touch of it but nothing too bad), there’s another one right about NOW. Probably brought on from the loss of her favorite teacher paired with mother abandonment to Europe. Or something. In fact there’s a little girl in her class who just started it too. I told Anna one morning that they should just go over and hold each other while crying!

 

This sucks. I want to take her to attempt to start Soccer Tots this Saturday but I’m thinking there’s no way she’s going to let me leave her to play with complete strangers while I sit on the side and watch. I have a feeling this won’t go very well and now my bigger fear is that it’s going to be limiting socially or something because apparently this could drag on forever. She’s always taken awhile to warm up to new situations anyway. Soccer Tots is a 50 minute class. We don’t have all day.

 

Well there you go. Don’t know if giving it a name and accepting it will help me rationalize through it, or make it worse in my own mind. Probably both.

 

 

School starts Monday

This is perplexing.

 

I knew the potential teachers Anna would have this year and Mrs. I.A. wasn’t one of them. In fact, this is her first year at Gloria Dei.

 

Paul and I had our little parent meeting with her, in her classroom (one of Anna’s old classrooms, in fact), while Anna happily dug through all the toys in the room.

 

She seemed tired and complacent.

 

We asked about the curriculum. We didn’t like the responses at ALL. To prompt any kind of creative response, I gave examples of what her teacher did last year. Her response is…”sure, I guess we can do things like that.” When I asked her what her science plans were, she pointed to an old plastic lone microscope and said, well, THAT’S what came with the room, so…” And she couldn’t give any real, fun, enthusiastic response to any questions we asked about the curriculum. It was “eh, sure, I guess, we could, blahblahblah…”

 

It gets worse, but if I rehash it I’ll get anxiety over it again. But let’s say I left the room ready to cry. Paul wasn’t impressed either but he did think I was stupid for wanting to cry about it. Excuse me, I’m a mom. Boo-frigging-hoo.

 

Even her room is awkwardly laid out, more like a day care than a little school room. What’s with all the toys everywhere, and those bookshelves are smack in the middle of the room, minimal neat, large open areas for real activity really. It’s like…cluttered and disorganized. And seemingly small. There’s a hint at attempted organization but it’s lame. Sorry, that’s just me. A gerbil is in the classroom. She didn’t even know its name, it came from the previous class and she was told it had to stay. Its name was written on the glass: “Peanut Butter.” I sat there wondering if she would feed it.

 

And I’m not picky over first class accommodations for my 3 yr old, but it’s my opinion that a room is a personal reflection of the teacher. Seriously. So then I walk down the halls and torture myself over looking into all the other classrooms she could have potentially gone to and they’re so cute and decorative and open and friendly, with letters on the wall and stuff. I.A.’s classroom does have a large picture of a hand-drawn/colored Jesus with his arms open and all the kids’ names around them. Which might matter to anyone else but me (I know, shame on me). And frankly, it’s kind of creepy.

 

So I talked with the director, K, after sleeping on it for a night. I asked her, “What did you see in her that made you hire her? Because we’re not seeing it.” Apparently Ms. I.A. has a BS, a Texas teaching certification, and a nursing certification (soon to expire). That’s all good and would usually impress me to some extent but I was surprised by my own inner voice rushing past that:, yeah yeah yeah, that’s nice, can you get to the good stuff?

 

K was surprisingly very open to listening to my concerns, very receptive and told me all the reasons IA was hired. Her #1 asset was apparently her creativity and enthusiasm for the kids. I’m sorry, seriously?? She said she knows she comes across as standoffish and reserved and she thought that during the interview too and actually placed her in the “keep going” pile based on that alone. But the parents’ committee interviewed her too and gave her really high marks and praise! And her past recommendations and lifetime of teaching experience were superb. K was convinced she was the right choice and by the time my meeting was over, I felt like she deserved a chance. I felt better the rest of the afternoon, in fact.

 

Then, on my way to pick up Anna, I ran into R’s mom. She stopped me to tell me she hadn’t had an interview yet with Mrs. I.A. but talked to her over the phone, after which she seriously wanted to cry (boo-freaking-hoo). I told her what I thought too and what K had told me. She said her meeting with IA is today and she’d let me know how it goes.

 

OK so I’m not the only one.

 

Then Anna wants to go see her new room again before we leave, so we peek in. Mrs. I.A. isn’t there but Anna’s old teacher from the 18month-old range (loved her) came in to ask what we thought about I.A. Like R’s mom, she asked with hesitation and seemingly leading-voice…what do YOU think…cautiously, not wanting to lead, but doing it. She specifically, cautiously asked: was she able to answer your questions about the curriculum and stuff? And I think: Ah-HA! So I’m not WRONG about being concerned about her not being able to answer questions specifically about the curriculum?!

Me: No, she wasn’t able to answer my questions and the ones she answered would have been better answered with “I don’t know”.

Her: Well I’ve gotten to know her and she does open up after awhile. It just takes time.

Yes. That’s what K said too.

 

Today, on the way to my truck after dropping off Anna (peeling her off, as usual), another mom stops me to ask me what I thought of Mrs. I.A. Again, this mom’s not happy and is on her way to talk to K. All the same concerns I have.

 

Look, is it just me? No, apparently it’s not. If all the moms talk to K, will they then start to feel better about I.A. like I did? Or am I just being too passive? Paul and I agreed to give this about a month or so of a chance before we start making drastic threats or changes because honestly, at this point, we have nothing but the 20 minute meeting to go off of so we have to be fair (and the lack-luster room). Let’s face it, there are 10 kids in the class. If we all hated it in a month, they’d have to DO something, but what COULD they REALLY do? Logistically, you can’t fire the teacher and find a suitable replacement in a pinch. You can’t move all the kids because there’s ratios to consider. I don’t know.

 

I don’t know how this will unfold. We will wait and see I guess. In the meantime, do you think she’d be offended if I went in there and upgraded that classroom a little? I mean for goodness sake.

 

If you’re wondering what Anna thinks, she asks to go to Mrs. IA’s class every day. We’ll see how she feels once she’s there. But since we have to peel her off of me anyway even now, we won’t be able to use her enthusiasm for going to school as a bench mark for judgment.

 

 

Some Colorado Pictures

It's 224 steps to the top of Seven Falls but it's doable at a 3-yr-old pace. Anna got lots of kudos from strangers on the way up!





I love how this pic shows her ringlets.






She's over the camera!





Top of Pike's Peak, at 14,000 ft. Nothing like keeping up with a 3 yr-old in a crowded souvenir shop at 14,000 ft! Whew!





Manitou Cog Rail took us all the way up to Pike's Peak summit.





At 30 degrees windchill at Pike's Peak Summit, she finally agreed to wear her coat. It's called natural consequences of not listening to mommy in the first place.





At the end of a fun day at the North Pole. We got her this dog and all it does is breathe. And rather loudly. She loved it so much and took it everywhere for the rest of the trip. First she named it Paulie (?!) then Allie.



12 years from now I probably won't have a smile on my face in the real situation.





It's an ice cold pole at the North Pole. Of course it's the North Pole pole. And no, I didn't ask her to put her tongue on it. That's disgusting.






OK I'd had enough of the cramped kiddy rides by now. Besides that, no way I was fitting in THAT back seat. We promised her an ice cream if she did it by herself.





It worked.





She didn't care for this ride as much getting off as getting on. It was a little roller coaster that was pretty rough.








Nothing like the surprise of an AIR BRUSHED face painting! That was unexpected and a little intrusive but Anna held it together and stuck it out. Awesome!






Trying to run from the camera while camping. The shirt is for Spasmunkey.








We camped at M Lazy C Ranch in Lake George, CO. It's a horse ranch in the Pike's Peak Area. Really cool place!






She just really wanted to FISH. She's never caught anything. Neither has daddy ;)







Back at the ranch....







At the ranch, Anna rode Squirt for an hour each day over two days. She loved it!











Ye-haw!







Helper





Seriously cool, double rainbow, right on the ranch. I didn't have the camera so had to take this with my iPhone and couldn't get the entire rainbow into the shot. But we were RIGHT THERE AT THE BEGINNING AND THE END OF this rainbow. We literally saw it touch the ground, perfect and tidy and clear. Anna said, "Sometimes we get gifts!" I don't know what exactly she means but yeah...





She was GREAT in the car ride! TWO days there and then TWO days back.





You get the idea.






Ready for this trip.



This was the best trip ever. OK well the shuttle flight trips are pretty darned fantastic memories too, but this was pretty darned perfect. We made just about everything on our itinerary, and it was fun for all. There were the whiny periods that drove me BONKERS (some were Anna's some were mine ;) ) but for the most part she was able to enjoy the same stuff we did and so it's getting more and more fun. Seriously, great memories.

I wish I had more time to blog the details but I just don't, and I'll have to hope I can remember them. She was addicted to her nursery rhyme book, carried her new dog everywhere, and was darned fun in the car ride. All our camping reservations/cabins/hotels were top notch and even when it rained on us every night in the tent, all was well. Another Colorado vacation marks the turn of the season as we look towards fall now....

Seven Falls

Seven Falls
Originally uploaded by Spacemama

Had to threaten to throw her stuffed dog overboard if she didn't take this picture! She is anti-photo these days.

Seven Falls

Seven Falls
Originally uploaded by Spacemama

Seven Falls.

Paci free nights 3 and 4 and tonight is 5th

She asks for it less and less each night. Tonight she only said "I want my paci, HARD". I said I knew it and that was OK and then it was over.

The drawback to being paci free that it was such a strong signal for sleep, now she rolls around in her bed, singing, for like an hour each night. Not only that but she calls us up at least 3 or 4 times. For random things. And she now has gotten into drinking more water in her bed when she had really just about stopped. It's like something she needs in her mouth to replace the paci. This results in calls that she needs to go potty at least 2-3 of those 3-4 times she calls us up to her room. Last night I didn't go on the last call and she fell asleep, only to wake up screaming 2 hours later because she'd wet the bed! Through her pull-up. Because I didn't believe she really needed to go potty when she fell asleep calling me. Sigh... Tonight when she drank all her water, there were no refills, a tiny tantrum and then on to sleep. She started calling me for something about a book but she knows the rule is I only go up there for potty or hugs. So she just now fell asleep while calling mommy mommy mommy over and over...now it's blissful silence.

Anyway I'd better get started posting Colorado pictures. Next...

Night 2: paci free

I met Anna’s new teacher last night, Miss I.A. She’s new to Anna’s school, but probably in her late 40’s and has years of teaching experience: like, her whole life. She has experience with every grade level, public and Christian school of every denomination, and in the last few years has been mostly with 3 year olds. I drilled her pretty good but I forgot to ask why she left her last place to come here in the first place. Is that a fair question?

She seems friendly enough. Definitely not Anna’s last teacher, Miss Dreamy who can look cute yet smart while wearing fashionable boots, but she certainly doesn’t seem a disaster. I think she’ll do. For now ;)

The kids in Anna’s class include adding back her old favorite friends Ryan and Erin, but not Karma, her bestest of all who was put into another class in the beginning of summer. Over the summer, she’s been hanging with another friend, Hannah, but now Hannah will be in Karma’s class. Boo. But at least Anna’s got good friends back with her in her new class, and some old friends that she knows too. And it looks like a few new friends.

An interesting thing: they’ve decided to restructure the room layout so that in each hallway, there’s one class each of 2, 3, and 4yr-olds, instead of grouping the entire hallway by one age group. They think this will allow the older children to be good models for the younger ones, and teach the older ones nurturing in some ways. Plus they feel it gives the newer parents a little more connection to the more experienced parents. Apparently it’s all the rage in the schools or something. I’m good with giving it a try. It does make sense.

But as a result of this room moving stuff, Anna’s new room is back in an old room where she was when she was around 18 months old. So her response was, “NO! I’m supposed to go to the BIG KIDS’ CLASS!” Paul and I explained that they fixed it and changed it all up to make it the older kids’ class and so this morning she really wanted to go see it before I dropped her off. I figured it couldn’t hurt.

I took her to the room and Miss I.A. was in there. I apologized to her, not wanting to intrude, while she was getting her classroom ready. She seemed fine with it and when I went to introduce Anna to her, I stopped myself and said, “Is it Miss FIRST NAME or Miss LAST NAME?” (Anna’s previous teachers have all been Miss FIRST NAME.”)

It’s Miss LAST NAME.

OK.

Anyway, the room looked a little cluttered with too many pieces of big furniture but hey, she has 1.5 weeks to get it all together so…but I don’t think this teacher is very familiar with energy flow in a room ;)

But this morning, for the first time since June, I didn’t have to peel Anna off of me at drop off. After she met Miss A, we walked back to her summer room where she’ll be till Aug 30. She kissed me good-bye and went off to color. WTH? I don’t think she hates the current classroom but I think she can sense that permanence will finally be coming back. Routine with regular friends, etc.

In other news, Night#2 without the paci went well. She took her animals from the sacrificial paci circle in our living room and piled them back into bed with her. She whined for the paci a little before bedtime last night and I think a little when she woke up but is getting over the whining quicker. The thing I’ve noticed the past 2 nights without the paci is she tends to talk wayyyyyy more when I lay in bed for the obligatory 5 minutes after book and song. She just won’t settle as easy and finds stuff to talk about. Again, that paci meant “sleepy time, time to wind down”. Now that signal is subconsciously absent. So this means she’s not falling asleep till around 9pm, which is much too late for her and her tired/cranky wake-up attitude. This means it’s time for an earlier bedtime. Bummer.

By the way she wore the same shirt today as she wore yesterday. To school. It’s the Wonder Pets shirt that was in the $50 bag of crap we bought at StoryTime Live. Paul approved it and I couldn’t fight it. Anna told me “But it doesn’t STINK”. Paul said, “but it doesn’t stink”.

I told her teacher, yes, I realize it’s the same shirt, Day 2. She didn’t seem shocked so I guess it’s standard at this age.

Well maybe tonight there will be zero home drama and I can post the Colorado pictures! Later…

Night one: Success

She didn’t wake up all night to ask for the paci. She was buried in with the stuffed animals. Tonight I will count those. They took up half of her full size bed. I tried to pile them on top of each other so she had enough of her own space as to not roll right out of the bed.

 

When she woke up, she was crying for her paci. Not hard, just whining, waiting for us to give in, in her bed when she should have been getting dressed. We each walked up there and explained it’s gone. She got over it and came downstairs, where the morning proceded as usual, and today I evenmanaged to drop her off at school with only mild complaining of not wanting to go, instead of trying to pull my shirt off as I make a pathetic exit.

 

To appease her this morning, all those stuffed animals ended up in a circle in the middle of our living room floor. For some reason she has replaced the paci with an unlimited number of stuffed animals, who are all her friends. We will need a big bag or something. Anyway, the circle of stuffed animals in the middle of our floor is admittedly an odd thing to see. Well I guess more odd if you don’t have kids. Shoulder shrugger-type odd if you do have kids.

 

Tonight Paul has to out her to sleep without my help since I’ll be at her school for parent’s night. Wouldn’t be an issue except the whole no paci thing. Anyway, tonight I learn who her new teacher and classmates will be for the fall. Remember, she was supposed to go to the 3yr old class in the mornings, and because she’s a little more socially advanced than the 3 yr olds, she was to go to the 4’’s in the afternoon. However, I told the director that if her new 3yr old class is lacking any of her best friends, she must stay with the 3’s all day until she makes stable friendships. I don’t want to bounce her between classes unless she’s feeling she has a stable home base with friendly faces. So we’ll see how it goes tonight! On all accounts.

 

 

 

The most epic of all household battles since...well, May-ish, 2009

I think if she'd have just taken a nap at school and went to bed by
8pm these last two nights, she'd be snoozing in bed with her paci.
With no incident.

If my previous post didn't tell you I was about ready to unleash my
wrath on Anna's crappy behavior via the paci, well, you missed it. We
are sick of the thing yet do you really think I have the heart to take
away her bestest friend?her comfort object? In a fit of rage? No. My
plan was to cut it sometime this weekend and tell her it broke. Sissy.

Well tonight her attitude stank, and after accidentally head-butting
Paul into a headache, hurting the cat after we said leave her alone,
one last thing apparently set Patience Paul off, and as I turned from
the running bathwater all I saw was Anna running into her room with a
close second Paul running behind her. Then Paul's out with that paci
and all hell broke loose for the next hour.

No point in re-hashing the graphic details of that hour but I cooled
down from anger, tried to talk Paul back into giving over the paci
(out of Anna's ear-shot. I didn't want it to go down like this..the
horror! ;)) then decided to press as he said, as now or never, and
consoled Anna best I could over the loss of her paci. It SUCKED. I had
to get creative enough for her to listen through her screams and
pleas. I had to tell her I know she's sad and mad and loves the paci.
Over and over. That worked in pieces. Then finally, when I asked her
what she wanted instead of the paci, she said for Santa to bring her a
baby doll. And that Santa can get her paci out of the trash, fix it
with tape, and give it to the babies.

Turns out I have a brand new baby doll I had forgotten to give to
anna's school last Christmas. It's now sitting on her dresser waiting
for her in the morning.

After her hour long scream fest, she was reset and exceedingly cheery.
She excitedly loaded every single stuffed animal from her closet into
her bed to replace her beloved paci.

She went to bed with a book and songs as usual, and saying how she was
a big girl and didn't need the paci afterall. With snuggles, hugs, and
kisses, plus a couple of her attempts to stall bedtime, she was asleep
soon enough. Let's hope it lasts all night. And all week. And so on.
I do expect a few bumps and wake-ups and part of me is still guilty/
sad for just yanking her comfort item like that. I don't know if it's
right or not or if she'll be SCARRED FOR LIFE for it (ok I know that's
dramatic). But I am a little depressed. The paci to her signalled
sleepy, comfort time. Guaranteed familiarity. Snuggles. It's gone.
Because mommy and daddy apparently have that power. We DO have that
power but I like to think we're benevolent dictators. Thus, my whimpy
plan of broken paci would have made us all feel better. I know, I
know, this ain't nothing but a chip of what kind of real decisions
I'll really be facing as a mom of a daughter in the real world, blah
blah blah. Well, at least her home life is comfort and guaranteed
familiarity and snuggles. Home is still here for her.

But you grown-ups, what's your comfort item? Maybe it's TV, books,
video games, food, alcohol, smoking, a person. We have a lifetime of
learned coping strategies. Would you be affected if someone took your
comfort item away?

StoryTime Live: Kill Me

Anna was excited when her friend, L showed up with her mom, L so we could all go to see StoryTime Live at the Hoby Center today. This was a kid's fest show that included on-stage acts of Nick Jr's Kai Lan, Backyardagains, Wonder Pets, and Dora. Anna's more interested in the latter 2, but not really addicted to any of them. Still, we thought it'd be fun.

We bought her almost $50 of crap before the show started, including a twirly-light-thingy.

Paul, looking around: "How'd we become one of THESE people?"

The lights dimmed, and she, like the kids around us, kept asking for Dora. Suddenly I look around and realize that in the crowd I'm in, if Anna lost her shit for some reason, I'd be empathized with, or, from the looks of this crowd, quite possibly hers might not be the worst tantrum around. Of course Dora is saved for last. Anna lost interest in her light-thingy immediately, though the kids around us (L included) were waving theirs to the pre-school beats as the music started.

Act I: WHERE'S DORA?
Act II: I'M HUNGRY

Crap, what, you mean an intermission (I'm sorry: POTTY BREAK)? FIFTEEN MINUTES?!
Paul: "Don't they know you're supposed to POWER THROUGH?"

Crap, out of animal crackers. And no, Anna, L didn't drink from YOUR cup. She just held it for you (lie).

She wants her shoes off. We oblige to keep the peace. But already I am feeling the need to haul her out during intermission to give her a Time Out I think she has coming anyway. Since I don't haul her out, I look around for the shortest escape route that I might take with her when the show starts.

I should have done the Time Out during intermission. Perfectly acceptable scream fest that always resets her attitude to cheery. No lie. It's weird, but it's true. A good scream/cry fest and her world looks much more tolerable to her I guess.

Ah, Wonder Pets. Well, she should be interested in this at least. Why are those people walking around behind large puppets? Aren't they supposed to just get into the turtle, duck, and hamster suits like the other acts? This is pretty weird. I wonder if Anna will notice. I'm supposed to watch the turtle, hamster, and duck but I keep watching the people. They're like...in plain view, working the big puppets.

I'm HUNGRY!
Where's DORA?

I make threat after threat, and BOY DO I HATE NOT FOLLOWING THROUGH ON THREATS.

My kid is the bratty, whiny kid. No, people: just because she's obviously an only child and you all have three or more each, and you appear to have your shit together at this moment, it doesn't mean she's spoiled. Nobody's looking at me like that but that's what I'm feeling. It's that whiny voice that makes me want to smack Anna into gratefulness.

Anna sits on Paul's lap and the look on her face is that of tired and interest and serious. The darkened room is getting to her, despite the obvious stimulus on stage. She's fighting tired. And now she's hungry and grumpy. Despite the bubbles that pour into the audience for stage effect. Kids dig bubbles.

Finally, Dora. At this point, she's thrilled. I guess. But she doesn't want us to talk to her much less get her to dance or repeat "insert Spanglish here" when Dora asks. If we try, she gives us the cat whine response that I hate so much. Yes, this is me. She gets it from me. The don't-look-at-me-and-expect-me-to-have-fun-and-act-silly-like-all-these-other-bozo-kids-even-though-I'm enjoying-myself-attitude.

And then Dora was over. The whole show was over. And the only thing I hear is my child, whining.

BUT I WANT TO WATCH IT AGAIN!
Great, glad you liked it, but it's all over now! Time to go have some lunch!

BUT I WANT TO WATCH IT AGAIN!

I'm sorry kid, but to whom do you belong? It can't be us.

And that was it, she bawled her stinking head off like a wahhhhhhhhhhhh lull all the way till we got into the car. The kind that just drags on and on. I pulled her aside and talked to her when what I really wanted to do was shake her, and it worked for a second. Then something set her off and the BAWLING continued. waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Tired, eyes half open, waaahhhhhh.

Here I am carrying a $50 bag of CRAP, trying to exit gracefully, surrounded by lots of snotty noses who were otherwise cute, happy, and satisfied. Why was my child the only one, at 3.5 years old, to be BAWLING as we leave? Her friend, L, was cute and perfect and happy. Including the discussion on the car ride home about how she's finally just kicked the paci habit.

Jesus Christ, what? SHE kicked the paci habit? I swear I am going to lose my mind. That's IT. THAT STINKING PACI IS GOING DOWN (yes, she still uses it to sleep).

And so the paci shall receive the brunt of today's punishment.

Ok so you gotta love a campground where there's free wifi at your tent. What, no? Well I do. Dang it makes daily planning much easier!
The M Lazy C ranch is a historic homestead and it's full of horses, cows, and even a buffalo. Our tent is in a nice area and right next to some of the fenced horse areas so it's neat when they. Come up close :) One cowboy rode his horse over to us as we were setting up just because he saw Anna and thought she'd like to pet him. She was hesitant but did pet him :) It rained off and on some last night but the tent held up well. Anna did great and slept all night with no issues. There are showers here and tonight we are going to a prepared dinner here. I guess it's traditional cowboy dinner, who knows?
This morning we rode horses on the trails in the mountains for an hour. Anna kept talking beforehand about how she wanted to hold the reins and steer it and she would be the line leader. So today she and Paul rode Squirt, a big white horse. She did great the whole ride! We're going to ride again tomorrow morning...it's only $25 per person for the hour and 12.50 for Anna. Not bad!

She's napping now bc Lord knows she needs it. Then we're renting a boat for an hour or so before dinner. Anna's had good and bad moments: the thing I lack patience for is whining. She can whine over everything which drives us bonkers! And the less sleep she gets, he worse it gets. So we are building naps into this trip the the sanity of us and those around us. Her time out is in the truck till she's done with her fit. I guess this is part of the age. Whining is soooooooo annoying!

But I have to say, she gets full credit for an awesome 2 day car ride! She busied herself with books and drawing and barely any DVD's and it was great! I taught her how to draw a dog and cat. I didn't realize how far she's come with her drawing. She can draw real stuff and even colors inside the lines. Pretty cool! She still seems to be a lefty. Don't know if that changes later or what.

Well, better go wake her if we're going to do the boat today before dinner.

Tomorrow more horseriding and Florissant dinosaur park probably. On Tues te North Pole and on Wed the Pikes Peak Cog and 7 Falls.

Hello Pikes Peak! Just a little more till M Lazy C!

Ps Anna is a trooper!

The urgent care center had a 45 min wait and Anna's ear was better and she slept great. So we skipped it. When it starts again I'll try not to get nuts.

We should get to our destination at around 2:00 or so. We've already made a pee stop in the grass for the little bladder.