8pm these last two nights, she'd be snoozing in bed with her paci.
With no incident.
If my previous post didn't tell you I was about ready to unleash my
wrath on Anna's crappy behavior via the paci, well, you missed it. We
are sick of the thing yet do you really think I have the heart to take
away her bestest friend?her comfort object? In a fit of rage? No. My
plan was to cut it sometime this weekend and tell her it broke. Sissy.
Well tonight her attitude stank, and after accidentally head-butting
Paul into a headache, hurting the cat after we said leave her alone,
one last thing apparently set Patience Paul off, and as I turned from
the running bathwater all I saw was Anna running into her room with a
close second Paul running behind her. Then Paul's out with that paci
and all hell broke loose for the next hour.
No point in re-hashing the graphic details of that hour but I cooled
down from anger, tried to talk Paul back into giving over the paci
(out of Anna's ear-shot. I didn't want it to go down like this..the
horror! ;)) then decided to press as he said, as now or never, and
consoled Anna best I could over the loss of her paci. It SUCKED. I had
to get creative enough for her to listen through her screams and
pleas. I had to tell her I know she's sad and mad and loves the paci.
Over and over. That worked in pieces. Then finally, when I asked her
what she wanted instead of the paci, she said for Santa to bring her a
baby doll. And that Santa can get her paci out of the trash, fix it
with tape, and give it to the babies.
Turns out I have a brand new baby doll I had forgotten to give to
anna's school last Christmas. It's now sitting on her dresser waiting
for her in the morning.
After her hour long scream fest, she was reset and exceedingly cheery.
She excitedly loaded every single stuffed animal from her closet into
her bed to replace her beloved paci.
She went to bed with a book and songs as usual, and saying how she was
a big girl and didn't need the paci afterall. With snuggles, hugs, and
kisses, plus a couple of her attempts to stall bedtime, she was asleep
soon enough. Let's hope it lasts all night. And all week. And so on.
I do expect a few bumps and wake-ups and part of me is still guilty/
sad for just yanking her comfort item like that. I don't know if it's
right or not or if she'll be SCARRED FOR LIFE for it (ok I know that's
dramatic). But I am a little depressed. The paci to her signalled
sleepy, comfort time. Guaranteed familiarity. Snuggles. It's gone.
Because mommy and daddy apparently have that power. We DO have that
power but I like to think we're benevolent dictators. Thus, my whimpy
plan of broken paci would have made us all feel better. I know, I
know, this ain't nothing but a chip of what kind of real decisions
I'll really be facing as a mom of a daughter in the real world, blah
blah blah. Well, at least her home life is comfort and guaranteed
familiarity and snuggles. Home is still here for her.
But you grown-ups, what's your comfort item? Maybe it's TV, books,
video games, food, alcohol, smoking, a person. We have a lifetime of
learned coping strategies. Would you be affected if someone took your
comfort item away?
1 comment:
You are so good to try to make her feel better. I gave up on that quite early on and resorted to, "yeah, life sucks. Get used to it." Gives them something to talk about with their therapist in the future. They do a good job of hiding it if they are traumatized.
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