There are only 4 left

Four people out of about 65 are left taking my test right now. I'm watching them. I wonder if they're struggling or if they are just super neurotic about checking their work. Man I am glad I'm on this side of the teaching podium. I remember all too well being in their seats.

A girl in the class told me that the two students sitting next to her were sharing answers. One had left already. I didn't see it so I'm not sure how to handle it. I think the place to start is with the Bio coordinator, Dr. P. to see what he says.

The guy with the walkman...I'm watching you. I guess if you were using your IPod to cheat, you'd be rewinding and replaying instead of tapping a beat. And you wouldn't be sitting right here in the front row. What are the rules these days for all this technology they could use to cheat? You can't very well take away cell phones, can you?

The guy over there had his notes on the floor next to him. Please, son, that's so old school. They're mine till the end of class...

It's all about karma, people. If you cheat, you will get cheated. Your life will suck because my guess is your entire life is a lie anyway. I don't have to take you down to the Dean's office to teach you that lesson. Real life's lessons are much worse.

Now there are 2 left. I'd like to go home but frankly those essay questions are indeed painful. And they will be painful for me to grade so I guess it's just the law of the land.

A student pulls me out of the class and tries to explain why he knows he sucked this exam up. He was working last week and missed my class and didn't know what to expect on the exam.

Our Actual conversation:

Him: Ummm, I'm a grad student here and I took this class last semester with Dr. P. But he failed me so I have to take it again to graduate.

Me: Oh, yikes! I heard his exams were tough! (DUDE, GRAD STUDENTS DON'T FAIL ANYTHING!!!! ARE YOU CRAZY?!)

Him: Yeah. Yours weren't much easier...

Me: What?! Yes it was...

Him: Well I missed last week's class because I was working and so I didn't exactly know what would be on it. Did you discuss the contents in last week's class?

Me: Yes, I went over in detail exactly what you should know (WTF does it matter? Learn the material we went over in class and you'll pass the exam. ESPECIALLY if you've had this class already!!! Do I really have to spoon feed a graduate student??)

Him: OH! Well I missed the class so I didn't know the format...

Me: Next time if you miss a class that we discuss the format feel free to email me and I'll reply with what I told the rest of the class. But seriously, dude, really? LAME EXCUSE.

If you are a graduate student and this is the second time you're in BASIC HUMAN PHYSIOLOGY, an UNDERGRAD course, and you can't diagram and action potential or the events that happen at the synaptic cleft, leave now. You'll be useless to society.

Now there's one left. Look at him work!

It's getting cold in here. All the 65 warm bodies have left.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

This morning Anna told me that my necklace was pretty.
"It's PRETTY!" she exclaimed over breakfast. So sweet and happy and meaningful, complete with inflection. Like a little sweet girlie person. It made my heart melt. She thinks my necklace is pretty...awwww...I love you, baby girl.


And the last one is finished! He just gave me his test. He smelled like pickles. What's THAT about? Time to lug home the 700 pages of exams and start grading.