Busy, busy

Where'd all this busy time come from? It used to be that I'd come home at 5:15pm or so with Anna, we'd make dinner (while she impatiently tugged at my pants and cried: cccchhhheeessseee!!!" out of hunger), we'd play, give Anna a bath, and then put her to bed so that mommy and daddy can have time to watch TV or surf the net or update the blog. It seems we rarely have nights like that anymore. It's more of a hand-off to Paul in between dinner and bedtime before I am out the door. I guess with the re-emergence of Girls' Nights on Mondays (yay!), me working late on Tues to make up for the Thurs afternoons I'm home with Anna, and my teaching on Wed nights, the remaining week days are reserved for house up-keep, errands, and family time.

I'm falling behind on TV. Rats. And with the new U-verse and everything. I even forgot to set it to record Desperate Housewives last night, though I did hear the Grammys were on so maybe it was a re-run anyway.

I'm falling behind on reading. I have two non-fiction books sitting on my desk for actually months now. They look cool...I just need to pick them up. And stay awake. Or maybe I can read them at 3:30am when it seems I wake up and stay awake for the day lately.

I was exercising at 6:00am but that lasted about a week. I do need to get on the bike, though, or the MS150 is really going to hurt.

Although I am now gone from the house a few more nights a week, Paul and I still both seem to get in alot of time with Anna, thankfully. And Z and C were so awesome to come babysit while Anna slept so Paul and I could go out to dinner Sat. night. Imagine that. We didn't even mind the 1 hour wait to get seated.

I like being busy these days. I've spent much of my energy and time devoted to being there for Anna and Paul the past 2 years. I feel like it's an obligation over anything else in my life. So it's been good that work's been less challenging and I can leave by 5, although part of me finds it boring. I don't go to happy hour with co-workers (that stuff takes alot our of me anyway) and I am very protective of my weekends when it comes to things like volunteering my time. It's just that I am much more picky about how I choose to spend my time or something...But Paul has been encouraging me to get out of this feeling of obligation and just go do it. At least the stuff I want to do.

So it was kinda nice when I got to go volunteer at an all-girls science workshop event with my new boss JR and her team on Sat morning while Paul brought Anna to the Little Gym. I think it was the first time I have missed going with Anna to the Little Gym ever. It wasn't so bad.

Pre-baby Tara wouldn't have given it a second thought. I am continually reminded how priorities change with the addition of a little one to the family, even if I didn't intend the changes. It amazes me the women I know who have tons of hobbies and stuff to do, because it means less time with their kids (most of the time). How I feel about them is too complicated to write down but I can say I admire the fact that they balance it all. I am slowly stepping back out to add things onto my life almost two years later. But I am challenged to balance it all in a way that makes me feel good knowing Paul and Anna's needs are also being met. I can't enjoy the rest of my life if I am worried about the two people most important to me.

So it's a daily thing.
I'm sure most moms feel the same.

Actually, this post started out with the intent to document the fact that we were too busy to sit down this weekend!! We spent a good deal of the weekend preparing the house for the carpet that's going to be replaced tomorrow, including trying to fix the squeaks in the upstairs flooring. In the process, Paul found a quick way to enlarge an existing A/C register upstairs that would allow more airflow through our A/C and hopefully save on some electric bills...as for the squeaks, we have one more night to work that out.

Yesterday we took a break from the renovations (and cleaning!) to go to the Houston Museum of Natural Science with TJ, CM, and OM to see the Body Worlds 2 exhibit. Our babysitting plans fell through so we took Anna with us, thinking she'd be at least somewhat interested in the body parts, though we still expected an element of the distracting behavior that comes with an almost-2-year-old. We lost TJ, O, and CM early in because the crowds were really insane, and since much of the display were things (bones, cancerous lungs, etc) that Paul and I have already seen, we tried to move through the crowd to the more interesting full-body anatomical dissections. But the crowd got thicker and thicker. The lines grew longer to see anything, and the toddler got bored. As long as we were looking at stuff, she was fine. While waiting and waiting, she got giggly, silly, and punchy (surprise!). It was hot in there. And did I mention crowded? There were also other kids and babies there too. Some were taking it better than others. We'd had enough. Even after $50 for the tickets and $10 for parking, we decided to turn around and abort this mission. It was just too much. Even without a toddler, we'd have just left. While there, we just weren't feeling it. If we weren't feeling it, then to me and Paul it was just more dissected cadavers that we've seen numerous times in our careers and at the previous Body Worlds exhibit years ago. But really, I can't even believe the museum would allow so many people into one single exhibit. It's just not fun that way. Although I think it's really AWESOME that the lay public is interested in the fascinating human body.

The most interesting thing I did fight to go see was the dissected pregnant woman. I couldn't get close enough to read the info on it, so I am not sure how far along she was, but she looked at least 5 months or so. Maybe I'm off. It was very, very cool. If she'd have had skin, I'd have thought she must have also been pretty. The fetus was still in her placenta and all cut away to show it all. If it were at the first Body Worlds exhibit years ago, I must have forgotten, or maybe for obvious reason I am more impacted this time around. I thought it was anatomically amazing. Then I thought: this was somebody's loved one, expecting a baby. And then they died.

Darn it.