Christmas 2010 (and the weeks surrounding it)

She actually got this one LAST Christmas but I had to slip this in there

He admits he always wanted one

It was our year to spend it with Paul's parents (we spent Thanksgiving this year with my mom and family).

The biggest hit in Christmas gifts so far for her has been the LeapFrog Sketch pad and Lite Brite. Everything else seems to be getting equal share time. The bike that Santa brought her would get more use right now if it weren't so darned cold out. That will come soon enough!

The best thing about traveling for Christmas this year was waking up right next to her, watching her eyes pop open and say, "Mama, I closed my eyes and slept so Santa came!" Strangely enough, she wasn't in much of a hurry to rush downstairs to see what he left her. We just chatted in bed a little while and got downstairs at around 8:30am.

She first saw the extra gifts, and most notably, the bike by the tree. She asked who it was for and seemed to like it as she looked it over (the very bike she picked out and texted to Santa she wanted at Toys R Us). But her gaze swung to the stockings that were stuffed with a little fake puppy dog hanging out and she forgot about the bike and presents. For some reason, she was focused on the stockings, and in fact I think she was most excited about that going into Christmas day!

She was worried about Santa when he didn't eat that last cookie. Why didn't he eat it? Will he come back to eat it?

With all of this Santa talk this year, sitting on his lap was still a no-go. At least last year she mustered up the courage and went for it at the mall out of nowhere. The year before we did it as a family. But this year, she had none of it. In fact we waited in line, while she kept saying she was excited to see him and then when it was her turn, she fled. Later she'd say she wanted to give him hugs when he came to her house.

She's so much fun at this age. It was the best Christmas yet. And while she enjoyed the gifts, nobody certainly went overboard, and she didn't expect overboard. The whole Christmas season was fun, plus my mom was here for two weeks of it too. In all I think we went to less festivities than last year (by just a few) and there seemed to be less pressure about buying gifts and wrapping them and going to all of the parties and festivals. We even had an entire weekend where we did almost nothing. Even the tree was up early, as well as the lights on the house and the ginormous inflatable snowman in the front yard. Heck we even found time to buy new tree ornaments. I'm not sure where all of the ease and extra time seemed to come from, but it was nice. Now that Christmas is over I'm having to explain to Anna why the tree will come down, as will all of the cool lights in the neighborhoods she's come to gasp at on the evening drives home. Oh well, I think at least it will be easier explaining it this year than last year when she was 2 and couldn't quite grasp why Frosty and Santa left the yards and went into the attic "until next Christmas." In fact I swear it's something she would sporadically ask about here and there, even in summer.

Anyway, hope you all had a great holiday. Whether I have mixed feelings about lying to her face about Santa, or I harbor way too many questions about what her Lutheran preschool is teaching her about the holiday, there's certainly nothing like being a mom to a 3.75 year old at Christmas.

Form Factor

I'm getting into the shower, and Anna's eyeballing me. I can tell something's coming.

"You look like Nanna, mommy!"

And there it is.

I assume Anna meant that in terms of form factor.

I love my mother, but given the fact that she's 23 years older than I, I think it's time to revert back to post-Anna-bedtime baths for me.

Dear Anna,

You're a really good kid so far. You have kindness, silliness, and seem to have an inherent sense of right from wrong, and it goes a long way. Thank you for being kind to us. We love you and will treat you the same.

Throughout my lifetime, I have seen time and time again children yelling at their parents. I don't mean just young children like you...I mean teenagers and adult children too. How any child can treat a parent so badly has always been beyond my comprehension. And now, as a parent, it completely floors me to think of what it must feel like to have my own (grown) child treating me that way. Mostly, a parent put this child on this planet out of love. Not to be cursed at, verbally abused, and disrespected, especially as a grown adult child. It's something a parent couldn't have forseen, isn't it? No mother looks down at their precious baby and thinks, "some day you're going to verbally or physically abuse me until my self worth has depreciated my soul into complete loss."

So where is the respect for the mother lost? It's obvious if the mother is verbally or physically abusive. But what if the mother did her best under life's circumstances? Don't we ALL try to make the best choices in life, given the situation? Especially when it involves our kids? Is the respect lost when the mother shows weakness through giving too many gifts? Or perceptively not enough? Does the child get drunk on the power in treating a mother like dirt instead of the human being that brought their soul into this world in the first place? A way to control one thing (and a human, at that) in a world where they feel like they've lost control of everything else?

Anna, we brought you into this world out of love. At the same time, you chose us as parents. My hope for you is probably the same as any mother has for her daughter: happiness, safety, and love. Not to sound cliche, and not that I mean to rush you through your little life, but when I look at you, I can really see the woman you're going to become. I hope that I can teach you kindness, self-confidence, independence, and love. I hope I can teach you to accept love while recognizing your self worth and not being treated like a door mat by others. You can navigate this world with strength, positive attitude, spirituality, and love if you have the right guidance. Since you chose us, I am confident you'll do great.

At times I do feel like I might be helicoptering too much, smothering you a bit. I suspect that this is what leads to "spoiled only children" so I try to find a line there without just hovering too much. I try to back off and let you do your own thing, but my nature is generally to be helpful (or at least resourceful) in this world. Plus I'm still technically new at this and since you're our first and only, I'll always be technically new at this. I wonder if I'll be able to avoid meddling in your life too much when you're grown up, or giving too much advice. Then I think that since I hate drama at my core, I'll be able to butt out at the right times. But will I butt out too much?

I think that most moms feel this way. Plus my general feeling is that you're a soul like we are, though young in this body, as we were when we started out, and even though you're only 3, you do deserve some level of respect from your parents as you're navigating through this go-round. We hope that's something you recognize as you grow and contributes to your self worth as you find the right balance with humility.

Ultimately, you should know that your parents are both smart, hard-working, very fulfilled and tuned-in people who believe that if you do what you love, and be who you are, that you will find joy during your life here with us. There's no need to be cruel and angry. There's no need to feel like life's unfair or you've been treated poorly. These are perceptions that are only internal and they're not reality. I hope you never let those thoughts in. Life can be great and fulfilling and it is ultimately what you make of it. Your dad and I hope to set a good example of this, even in the face of tough times that I think no human can ultimately escape.

Anyway, in the end, there's never a reason for you to treat us like those other children treat their parents. We're here to do our best in our lives and in yours. And since this is your life, you should do your best (as we are) to make the most of it too.

Underscheduled

That's right. Last weekend we had nothing but one Christmas party planned. What happened here? I don't know but all I know is by Sunday, Anna was asking "why are we still in our PJ's" at 10am, and "where are we going today?" As if we never sit still.

OK we don't.

On Saturday, there was enough time for me to get a 10 mile run in, which says a lot since my pace is sloooowwww anyway. Hey, the Disney Half Marathon is Jan 9. I've been running with my morning group for the most part, and when I miss a morning with them, I make it up at the end of my work day, before I pick up Anna. The weather here has been perfect for running. Wouldn't it be great if we had that kind of weather at Disney?! Beats the 30 degree sleet we had at last year's Half!

On Sunday, I remember looking at my watch AND IT WAS ONLY 12:30! Not like I'm complaining. Downtime is really good. But really I could have at the least planned to organize my desk or something.

By 2:00pm, I had to find something to do of value out of the house. I had one thing I could think of to do and that required a trip to the mall. This being the weekend before Christmas, and really we were almost actually BORED, Anna and I got dressed and headed into the fray: THE CHRISTMAS MALL.

That's right, you heard me: my least favorite place in the whole world on a regular basis, and to venture out the weekend before Christmas is insanity. This is how bored we were.

"The mall will have lots of people. It will be crowded. Keep hold of my hand, don't touch anything, and stay close."

She did, and if I could ever get her to let go of my hand, she wanted it back as soon as possible. She asked why we were parking so far away. "Tis the season."

She's a people watcher. We did the errands I wanted to do pretty quickly, then she wanted Subway, (this child is addicted and should do a commercial) and so we watched people as she ate.

She's such a good kid out in public, especially if you set the rules. We're lucky that way I guess. We never have to worry about her running off somewhere, or losing sight of us, or whatever else. (Caveat: when she's tired she gets silly and sloppy and that's annoying).

She's in the "poop, toot, pee pee" phase. That is, every Christmas song she sings she substitutes one of the afore-mentioned words in and thinks it's hilarious. Her silliness with "poop" has recently worked to my advantage. The "squirmy, wormy germs in your mouoth, YUCKY!" has lost its effect in getting her to brush her teeth. What HAS recently worked: "Anna, those squirmy, wormy germs are pooping all over in your mouth! You need to brush them out!" Yes. That's working nicely. What? You wish YOU'D have thought of it.

She's also into eating her boogers. That's right, I'm calling her out on this blog so that when she's older and reading this, she's embarrassed. She thinks it's funny. And we do not. So now she'll say she ate her boogers, when really she didn't, just to make it a game. Tis the season of snot, and boogers are plentiful. To her credit, she's claiming she doesn't do it anymore. But who knows, really?

We both came down with a slight case of the crud. Nothing too serious, just some extra gunk that caused her to cough in her sleep for around a week, and I have the gunk in my head and chest. Annoying. In fact, she coughed a few times right into my personal space, and I knew instantly I'd just become innoculated with her crud. She's been reminded to cough into her elbow (the new trend, you know) and she's now really good about it.

Incidentally, she hasn't been sick since she was a baby. I don't even remember the last time she had an actual fever, though I do remember long periods of coughing at night. If at this point she were to become sick, I don't even know how she'd take it. And myself likewise. I'm not even sure what's out there to treat sickness in kids these days. I've lost track of the new restrictions in cough/cold medicines, and the additions of homeopathic rememdies. I guess it'll come to me quickly enough when the day should come that she'd get sick and I'm scrambling for peace.

What else to report here? Mom's spent the last 2 weeks with us helping out at Paul's clinic since he's lost his administrative staff until Jan 1. It was fun having her here, especially this time of year, and I know Anna loved it :)

Did I mention a few weekends ago we camped out at NASA? There was a camping event aimed at sitting around camp fires, listening to NASA speakers and stuff (we'd planned to go as a family just to listen and camp out but they asked me to be a speaker so I spoke about space station science). There were also telescopes set up, and Anna got to see Jupiter and its moons! She LOVED it! She was SO EXCITED! The next day I had to speak about space station science at the Italian Embassy in downtown Houston, which was really neat, and then we made it over to the Holiday in the Park Festival in League City. We've been going since Anna was 1 and they usually have tons of rides and games. This year there were wayyy less rides. Weird. I guess the recession is affecting everyone.

Dude, I totally have pictures to post for all of these events. I should really do that.

We actually got our Christmas tree up the weekend after Thanksgiving, I think. It was early! And easy! A real tree, just like every year. I have pictures of that, too. NEED TO POST THEM. Will do...just so busy at work, and in the evenings I'm too tired :)

Paul's clinic is thriving. Clients keep coming. But the money battles with insurance just leads to an unsteady cash flow. We've got to figure out how to nip that in the bud and we're about to try some new tactics. We're also in negotiations on a new lease at a bigger property across from where the clinic is now. The clinic needs more space. Face it, it's growing. Oh! Also, there was a local news crew who came out to do a piece on Paul's clinic back in October and it finally aired last week before Monday Night Football. They did a FANTASTIC JOB! It was so fun to watch! I'm so proud of him! When I get a link to the piece, I'll post it here. He's doing what he loves, and it's all working out, with the exception of some glitches that need to be fixed to optimize the cash flow. He's a master of manifesting. It dawned on me that he has been visualizing clinic success as enjoying what he's doing, healing people, and allowing new opportunities, which is GREAT, but I don't think cash has been a major factor in his thought process. Isn't that great? Most people dream about having cash. Money is usually a goal. It's not Paul's: we both live by "do what you love and the money will come." We see this as true but the devil is also in the details, and he has realized that there are processes that need to be optimized to allow for more cash to come into the clinic. So it's in the works! Time for a new year with new, improved processes. We are 3.5 years into this clinic and it still always seems new.

Anyway, I guess this is long enough. Hope all is well with you out there. Will post pictures soon. What a fantastic year! Let's have another, shall we?

...and rounding out the week is Yo Gabba Gabba!

We Kicked off last week to the Jimmy Buffett concert with free food and amazing seats!

Margarita and Cheeseburger in honor of Jimmy

And we ended the week with Yo Gabba Gabba Live tickets we purchased way back in June. I'd wanted to purchase the VIP PArty package, which gets you front 15 row seating and get a meet and greet with the characters afterwards, but even just 15 minutes into ticket sales, the best I could do was 3rd level seating at the Hobby Center! It was still a great view. Anna asked if we'd be able to touch the characters and I told her that they sold all the tickets to get to do that so we couldn't buy any. Afterwards, she'd tell people, "We can't touch them because mommy doesn't have any money!" HA. The looks we get on that one: Did we hear that right?!

What a show! Seriously, it was actually FUN. Wayyyyy better than Story Time Live we did in August. The music and the colors and the characters were really visually something else for this show and actually I'd pay to go see it again. Balloons dropping from the ceiling, bubbles, confetti...What a fun evening!

We learned awhile ago that Anna's enthusiasm for things like these that are happening are similar to mine: Awe, study, and seriousness. She's not the type to get up and dance and hop around and act silly at events like this. Instead, she stares with focus. We got her one of the fallen balloons and into the second half of the show she started waving her balloon a little to the music. She'd catch me staring and smile a little and keep watching.

At the very end of the show, I saw the tears start to well up as the show was over and she asked why it was "so short" - 1.5 hrs (she had an out and out cry fest after Story Time Live, and verge-of-tear-fest after Drum Line being OVER). We nipped it in the bud before the wells turned to streams and she was just fine and happy, talking all about the show as we made our way to the T-shirts. She's such a big girl, and it was such a trip! She was so chatty and happy and it was really a great time!!

That night, at bedtime:
"momma, why don't their mouths move when they talk?!"
Me: "Good question. Um...well, because they're puppets, baby."
Anna: "Puppets?"
Me: "Yes, they're pretend puppets and they can talk without moving their mouths."
Anna: "Oh"

Next day, pointing to the TV, "Mamma, I really like THAT puppet!"

Jimmy Buffett: Big Top Concert

Wow.

A few weeks ago, Paul got an email from American Express offering him two free tickets to a Jimmy Buffett concert in Houston at the Toyota Center. We thought it was a hoax and I could find nothing of the event itself online anywhere until I called the Toyota Center myself. The woman confirmed it was a “private event” that only certain invited American Express customers get to attend. It wasn’t a hoax! As it turns out, it was an additional show that American Express solely booked them for as part of his “Big Top” tour.

 

Just so happened my mom was in town and was able to watch Anna for the evening while he and I attended. When we got through the doors, the attendants told us that all the food and drinks (except alcohol) were FREE! Here we are, late 30’s, grown adults, and FREE FOOD makes us as giddy as college kids. So of course I had the Cheeseburger and margarita in honor of Jimmy himself.

 

We even found a close parking spot for FREE.

 

I am so proud of Paul for this because I know it’s a benefit for all the hard work he does at his clinic. Basically, it’s a game that he charges much of his business expenses to his American Express in an effort to reap the rewards program. Last night was American Express’s “appreciation” event for certain users and we surely felt like we were “among the elite”. Sounds a little silly but we surely recognized how far we’ve come since we were kids and we enjoyed every minute of the event. It was really great to feel treated so special and I am really proud that Paul’s a great example if you do what you love, the hard work at it comes naturally, and it’s true that so do the rewards. We were 7 rows up from the floor seating. Hello, really nice.

 

And might I say, Jimmy Buffett and his band are fun and flawless in concert. Seriously. And their rendition of Southern Cross was really amazing. It dawned on me that I was also lucky to hear that original song when I went to the Crosby, Stills, and Nash concert this October as part of the AARP conference in Orlando with my mom (I was the AARP conference for NASA). Jimmy Buffett just genuinely seems like a nice guy who enjoys doing what he is good at and is getting paid well for it. In the meantime, having fun. The theme for us was obvious.

 

WOW, what a night! Keep it going! Thanks Paul!

 

 

Tightening our belts

Well I guess we’re all “tightening our belts” around America and I’m not immune. At the 10 year anniversary mark of me working at JSC, I got this email:

On Monday, the White House announced a proposal to freeze civil service employee pay schedules in 2011 and 2012 (no cost of living adjustment or “COLA”) and to provide zero locality pay adjustment in 2011.  These proposals are part of a broader budget deficit reduction effort and will need to be approved by Congress.  The cost of living adjustment (COLA) and locality pay increases make up the pay increase civil servants would normally receive in January.  

Translated, it means we won’t receive our usual pay increase which usually covers locality pay increases to cover cost of living increases every year (in Jan). By default it’s usually 2-3%. This year, and next in 2012, it translates to 0%. Wow! Nobody likes not getting a pay raise but let’s face it, our whole country is in a recession and I shouldn’t exactly be exempt, no? I guess most everyone feels this.

 

In fact, if I’ve so far been able to duck the left and right changes that have been made by this White House Administration, (including the massive change in NASA mission) well, I finally got mine. It was just a matter of time (except I think we’ll find out how hard the insurance changes are going to hit Paul next year).

 

Am I mad? No. We are comfortable in our current pay and hadn’t even thought about the pay increase in detail. Everyone around the country is being affected in the same or worse ways with this economy. Changes are everywhere, unemployment high. I’m lucky to have a job that I love and that pays well. But this did make me realize I’m not immune just because I’m a civil servant. In fact, since my boss lives at the White House, it makes me more of a target, doesn’t it?

 

I wasn’t thrilled when the Bush administration sent Americans those fat $800 “stimulus” checks that sent this economy into the economic deficit we’re in now and I’m not thrilled about the lack of a pay increase next year. Not thrilled about the new TSA security regulations and the change in NASA’s mission and I’m not even sure how bad the insurance changes are going to hurt Paul next year, especially as a small business.

 

I do know it seems much is happening fast. Are people pissed because change is scary? Especially when it’s a direct hit? Or were we better off under the Bush Administration: a country stagnant and hearing the same fear-filled messages of terrorism and a lack of any real domestic policy?

 

In politics I always know there’s much more I don’t know and I have to hope that those in charge (the ones America voted for in the first place) are doing their best. You know, in the midst of all of the media, lobby, and greed and power and lies and BS I really would hate to ever be a part of. Let’s face it: All politicians are extremists. And I’m a moderate. So it’s a challenge for me. No matter who’s in office.

 

No, I’m not mad that any of the civil servants in America (not just NASA) aren’t getting a pay raise for the next two years. It doesn’t rub me the wrong way and I really don’t have much more to say on it. I’m lucky to be one that’s comfortable and overall happy at my job. I am sure there are other civil servants that were counting on that raise. But it does make me realize that anything’s possible. Especially as a civil servant. I remember around 15 years ago when Congress and the White House couldn’t come to an agreement on new budgets and so federal employees got delayed paychecks while Congress was out of session. It’s a real scenario. I, as a civil servant, am at the mercy of extreme politics. Sometimes I forget that.

 

Last night Anna asked me, “why is our mouth and lips red”? Ironically, I was on my way out the door to teach Human Physiology and she stumped me.

 

“Because our mouths and lips are made of muscles and skin and it’s a special type of skin. See? Our muscles help us chew.” We were eating Subway. “Also because blood is red and so there’s blood in the muscles.”

 

“I have blood in my MOUTH?”

 

“No, well, not exactly. Blood in the muscles and tissues.”

 

“Well why are my fingers pink? See? They’re pink everywhere” (looking at the insides of her hands/palms).

 

“Because you use your hands a lot and they have blood in them and that makes them look pink.”

 

“Are YOURS pink?”

 

On the way home from school last night she asks me if she can have some pickled peppers because she LOVES pickled peppers like Dora (the chartoon character) is saying she does. “I LOVE pickled peppers, the green one we picked from the garden, remember mommy? I’m a big girl!” (She meant the little bell pepper that actually survived our planting this spring). I told her I’d have to buy some pickled peppers from the store, and it’s the first thing she asks me about the next morning.

 

Knowing this would be the case, I stopped by the store on my way home from teaching last night to buy the child some pickled peppers. MILD, pickled banana peppers.

 

I gave her one this morning and she made that bitter face, eyes watering, and she spit it out. Then we laughed at how bitter it was and she wanted to try again. She ate a small pepper ring and then said she was done. She was pretty proud of having eaten pickled peppers J

 

 

This morning, in the car:

“Mommy why’d you call that man a jerk?”

 

Noted. Changed the subject. Will adjust driving language even more these days.

 

Incidentally, my officemate said I should have just told her that our lips/mouth are red because God made us that way! She was being fecitious ofcourse but it still cracked us up to think of how easy that would be. And it’s been used for generations. In fact, Anna has told me before that God made light and dark and animals. The core of her Lutheran schooling.

 

We've gone and done it

And now I admit to it: We've hired a cleaning lady for the house.

This is a luxury and not a necessity. Our house is generally clean enough because I'm slightly OCD over it anyway, and I even find cleaning therapeutic. We only have one kid and she's certainly not a messy one (yay for that).

But a few weeks ago my co-worker came in raving about a cleaning woman she hired and how she was all sparkles and details and how her weekends are now free for the family and hobbies, etc instead of cleaning over and over. I thought it sounded nice and interesting but still, my house is pretty clean as it is (my approach for the most part is to clean as I go...). In fact I'd tried a cleaning person once before a year or so ago and just didn't see it as something I'd pay for long term.
Plus it would be weird having a stranger in the house. Would it be worth the money for me to pay someone who could maybe keep it a tad bit cleaner? I mean, enough for me to actually notice a difference?

As it turns out, the answer is YES.

We gave her a try since it's off season for the lawn service and so had a little extra cash in the budget (hey we used to do the lawn ourselves too when we had the 8 hours per weekend to devote to that lawn...and anything else we wanted to do freely too).

She has secrets (that I now know) that makes all of our stuff sparkle. Her first week here she somehow managed to get mildew stains, etc, off of our disgusting shower stall, and make it look new. So the past few weeks since, I'd been after Paul to re-caulk it now that it's all clean and ready. Lo and behold, when I got to the house last night, the woman had CAULKED OUR SHOWER. Paul was off the hook and we hadn't even asked her to do it. Her vacuum leaves those really great, neat, professional-looking lines, and she does it in a neat pattern that makes the carpet look just cleaned.

Anna, pointing to the lines, "Mommy, what's THAT?!" As if I never vacuum! She apparently has a magical cleaning lady vacuum (OK, probably just the kind with combs, which Paul, ex-vacuum cleaner salesman, cautioned me against thinking too much of...nothing's as great as the Orion Tri Star, even if ours is 13 years old!).

Frankly the cushy carpet feels so great on my feet. This morning when I woke up, I was surrounded by so much plush clean that I didn't want to get out of my bed.

She's been here twice. She comes every other week. That way I can still have my own cleaning therapy in between.

This is a luxury for us, I realize. And so this is a bit different for us since we're really not ones to spend money on luxury items that aren't a necessity (except travel!). I mean I barely even ever buy new clothes. Other moms who have it I know see it as a necessity. In my mind, cleaning can be done almost any time, in any weather, and even after Anna's gone to sleep (energy permitting, which hasn't been lately). In the past, when I've learned that other friends/moms I know have a weekly house cleaner, part of me thought that was a nice luxury and I wouldn't waste the money when I can clean my own home. But they might have said the same about my lawn service. It's an interesting thing: I get why families see a house cleaner as a necessity. It allows them to spend more time with their families instead, or cooking, or hobbies. To each their own. Whatever gets us through.

For me, it sure feels like a luxury. In time, I wonder if I'll begin to see it as a necessity?

"Don't Touch My Junk!"

OK honestly I don't have a real hard hitting opinion on the new TSA rules in the aiport. The new body screening puts a practically naked picture of you on display in a closed room where "trained" TSA agents can privately evaluate whether you have a bomb (or otherwise) shoved somewhere inappropriate, OR, should you resist, you get the "If you touch my junk, I'll sue you" enhanced pat down.

Paul and I actually first heard about this last week after we'd already gotten to our hotel in San Diego. We didn't encounter any of the new security procedures en route in either direction.

Frankly I'm a moderate and this poses a potential problem where I'm getting the feeling I'm supposed to take sides. I don't have a side. Frankly I doubt I'll pick a side until it's my turn to flash my hot body on the screen (because...ewwwww on the enhanced pat down). Lots of times I don't have an opinion on things like this until I'm confronted, and then my intiution kicks in and lets me know how I really feel. But as I read all the headlines of outrage, I get the suppressing feeling that the option between an extra dose of radiation or a groping by a stranger is something out of a fictional novel. I mean, for real?

Right now what I feel is this: I give the same benefit of the doubt now as I did to the governing agency under the Bush administration. In each case, we elected them. They may look like idiots and act like idiots, but ultimately someone in charge thinks he/she is doing a good job to protect the American people. Could you sleep at night if you failed to stop the detination of a bomb that was shoved up someone's butt on a plane? OK, so this could happen on a plane or bus or subway or train so let's take it a bit further. Could you sleep at night as a leader knowing that you let a weapon onto a plane, and then that plane was then used as a weapon itself, aimed at buildings full of innocent Americans (including defenseless children)? You might overreact too. I couldn't sleep at night as a politician anyway but that's another story. A plane is potentially a more powerful weapon than a bus or train. You can argue that but we've seen this before.

When extreme measures like the new TSA rules get put into place, I can only think that someone in charge must know more than we do and must think it's a good idea for a good reason (lame? maybe. wrong? probably). Am I a shameful American for not shouting and defending my constitutional rights (you're infringing on the outline of my naked body in an airport without my permission)? Does lack of a position on my part infuriate others? Meh. I don't know. I am actually glad for the uproar and for the folks who are writing in and screaming because frankly, something like this should be heard by the people. I can totally see both sides and respect all opinions. But honestly, I don't have enough of a strong opinion to write in or yell and scream. One of my running partners was subjected to the body scan. Her opinion: what's the big deal?

The thing that does bother me, though, is the question of whether our government has thought through all possible alternatives. That nags at me. I mean part of me thinks that the makers of the body scans are out for some major bucks under a government contract and so I wonder how those inside discussions went. I can actually almost hear them. Then I've been reading the several articles out there that talk about the Israeli airport security measures. Surely our government considered that particular process? Surely. But I haven't read why that process wouldn't work for us, other than we Americans hate profiling.

Then I hear from others who say that if US soldiers put themselves in harm's way daily for us, then what is it to ask for us to go through a simple body scanner? Other side: the US soldiers willingly signed up for this, and if it starts at the airport, where else could it extend to? Trains, buses, subways, etc?

How much damage will the machine do to my 3 year old's body over time if (when) I have to agree to let her pass through that? The data is actually still out, some critics say. And so that bugs me.

I don't have to fly again until January. I wonder if and hope that things shake out by then. I have read that at the Orlando airport where I'll be flying, the chief of the airport is firing the government TSA and hiring private security as of Jan 1. Apparently you can do that. Now THIS will be interesting.

Part of me would like to see some successful uproars and protests this week at the airports. Mostly because if that's the message of the American people (albeit extreme), it's surely a venue for impact (but then again, according to the polls, the majority of Americans are in FAVOR of this enhanced security. Could that be??). Maybe there are better ways that don't tie up airport security resources on these protestors, though. So in the name of safety, maybe a protest isn't the best idea.

See? On this one I have nothing more than a "wait and see" attitude. I feel a little guilty that I'm not outraged, but really, I'm just not outraged. Maybe it's my idiot, naiive, hopeful thinking that the government feels obligated to protect their people, even in the face of my nagging, quieter voice that makes me wonder if all alternatives were considered (of course they were?), and what kind of fat checks the body scanning companies are going to get for the holidays.

Till then I'm grounded till January anyway.

Come to think of it, we never once heard "heeyyyyyy momma, heyyyyyyyy daddy" on the whole trip. Nor have we heard it since we told her to knock it off awhile back!

When we first told her to stop it after she finally drove us nuts at the Ballunarfestival, we told her hey/hay is for horses. So every time after that when she'd start to say "hey" she'd stop her self, say "no, oops! Hey is for horses" and just proceed on to "momma". Since then it hasn't come out and if someone else says it, no matter how they use it, she tattles like it's a bad word :)

So nice to be done with heyyyyyyyy!

Sunny San Diego!

I finally got Anna and Paul to tag along to one of my trips! I got to present my dissertation results at a big conference in San Diego (it went great!), and Paul cashed in some mileage for he and Anna to join me for a few early days.

There's so much about their quick little visit I want to remember. I wish I could blog it all at once as it was happening but I guess this is how it goes. The stuff I put here are the main points I want to remember and I'd like her to read about later.

The thing about traveling with the government: the government contracts really great, cheap rates for super nice hotels I would have never thought to be able to stay in. So we really enjoyed this view at 27 floors up!

We got some time in at Sea World, where Anna was in a hurry to see the sharks so we could explain to her that she wasn't going to touch them and they weren't going to bite her! It was forefront on her mind, you know. As were the sting rays. In fact, she was worried but was all excited to touch the sting rays until the moment came and she tried her best but ultimately couldn't do it. The problem as we really saw it here was that she also had issues with us touching the things and so turned into miss cranky pants over it all. So what, Paul and I fed the things fish and petted them and scratched their heads while she whined and protested and we threatened to leave if she didn't knock it off :) I can't blame her too much, I didn't even like scuba till college, and wouldn't have been interested in touching a sting ray either (though last week she held a snake at school).

The starfish was more her style. Apparently they let you pick up starfish! New one for me!


There was a Sesame Street area with a few rides and although Anna's only seen a few episodes, she knew who some of the characters were. She wouldn't hug Cookie Monster till I did. Is it wrong she hugged new-age Elmo but kicked Cookie to the curb? Is it weirder that I felt bad for old school, like wanting to say to Cookie, "sorry about these youngsters and their Yo-Gabba-Gabba Monstrosities but I know how you please millions of children over the years" to someone who's probably just a teenager inside that monster suit? Oh yeah, and she wouldn't let me out of the picture. Just a simultaneous foreshadow and backflash to the Santa experience.


We hit as much as we could at Sea World till we were all wiped and approaching cranky. When we felt it coming on, it was time to head home. Day 1 was a success and we were all tired silly. For real.

But I have to say I'm psyched she can keep up without naps. Baby can roll with her mom and dad on a play day.

Day 2: Legoland. We showed up when the gates open and we were the last to ride the rides. SEVEN HOURS. Anna is apparently a roller coaster fiend. We got a glimpse of that at Disney last year when she wanted to ride Goofy's Barnstormer twice in a row, her first roller coaster ever. But here at Legoland, we hit every coaster we could find for her her height. Her first questions where "when are we going to the roller coasters" followed by wanting to ride a boat ride she'd seen. She barely made the 40" minimum requirement for the coasters and there was only one coaster in the park she couldn't ride (but I did :) ). Her favorite: the Dragon. By the 8th time around, she had her hands in the air through the whole ride. YEEE-HAW! And this wasn't no baby coaster ride! Even Paul and I thought it was fun!


Legoland surprised us with all of the fun things to do. Seriously, there are more rides in this theme park than I've ever seen for kids (including Disney) and lots to do. Except, surprisingly, we didn't stumble across one large location for kids to play with Legos! Anna kept asking to go play with Legos but we never came across a central dream location like you'd think. I bet we just missed it. We weren't really looking hard enough, in favor of all the fun rides.

She even loved the log ride with its mini drop into a splash.

And at both Sea World and Legoland, she had to have her face painted!

Everything at Legoland looks like it's made of Legos. Well, most of it is and it's pretty amazing. I think there were something like over 4 million legos used in the decorations there. I had no idea the scope or what to expect from this amusement park, period, but it is the best I've been to for kids yet. If you get the chance, go.




Also, the weather in San Diego? Perfect. The lines this time of year? Absent. This beats Astroworld where we went as a kid in the 100 degree heat of summer where lines were an hour long!

Her next favorite ride was the bouncy bench thing. The one that brings you up to the top and bounces you down over and over via quick drops. She and I must have rode that one, I swear, 10 times in a row. Again, no lines. And it was actually fun.

Legoland saw no fuss, no crankiness, just lots of running, riding, and laughing. It was a strange miracle, and nobody's feet even got tired. When they kicked us out of the last ride, we weren't actually exhausted until the short ride home. Throughout the day it occurred to me that this was something I'd never have done pre-Anna, and why should I have? Now that we have a daughter, this stuff is way more fun than going as an adult (why go to a place full of snotty kids and kid rides?!). It occurred to me that we were really having fun, a new kind of fun, different from pre-Anna fun. A new kind of fun for me and Paul from pre-Anna fun. What a great stinking 7 hour, no nap, no whining day. It's truly, deep-down FUN to watch your kid have fun. It's only when you step back out of yourself, into your pre-baby self, when you realize it's something you'd have never thought fun to begin with.

Baby can keep up with her hard-playing parents. Watch out! Proud is an understatement on our side.

We managed to squeeze in a tiny bit of a beach visit just to play in the sand at Coronado beach, near the haunted Coronado hotel. Anna was too scared to go into the (cold) ocean and protested in favor of building a sand castle. Then, suddenly as we walked along the shore looking for shells, she decided she wanted to go for it. She grabbed my hand and took off with me into the surf! She was all giggly and wanted to go farther out so we rolled up our pants (no swimsuits, this is the pacific: too cold to swim!) and got out deeper. Paul joined us and we had to hold her back from wanting to go all the way in. Surprisingly, she went from freaked out to suddenly going with it! The laughs and giggles in her soaked pants were priceless and we couldn't believe the sudden transformation. After we coaxed her out of the water, she and Paul ran all around the sand playing chase while I got to lounge :) At one point we saw several dolphins bobbing in and out of the water, right there, right off the shore. So COOL!



We got a late night carriage ride around the city (as tired as zombies) via horse and a lit-up Cinderella carriage. Luckily for us it was right outside our room so we dragged ourselves down there, and Anna says that it was a highlight of her trip. At the end of every seemingly late night (it was only ever 8:30pm but consider the two hour time change), before bed was a pretend tea party, thanks to the tea party set K gave us when we visited her out here!



San Diego is a really neat place. There's so much more I want to post but it's in my head as memories and they trickle out here and there but never while I'm typing this stuff up.

Paul and Anna went home and left me here for the conference, and I missed them immediately! No one to push the elevator buttons. No one to command, "run to the line...to the trash can...now STOP...walk backwards...run to the next..." (she likes a type of Simon Says that works for her to run in spurts, which is a safe way to let her run but not run away from us!). The room looks bigger, the view from the window looks different. My meals are cheaper, and the rental car seems bigger. It's quieter. Paul said out loud what I was thinking as they were packing: "This room is turning into momma's typical travel hotel room" as only my things were left.

A few differences in travel with Anna this time:
-She was 100% totally amazingly great on the 3+ hour plane rides here and back (on the return Paul said she even slept! And slept all the way to her bed even!)
-Anna's packing list has shrunk (even though I still overdid it)
-Baby can keep up: no nap interruptions
-She is a great restaurant companion


One thing that hasn't changed: The realization when it's over that you've gotten to know each other a bit more. There's something to be said about mini hard core vacations like these (or less), just a little outside of the normal routine of the day, that provides insights into the little girl whose limits and capabilities you thought you knew. I have a habit of underestimating her. It's one I need to break, for many reasons, I know. In the meantime, as always has been with travel, it shows us what she's capable of, and what we as parents are capable of, outside of the norm.

What a great weekend! Nice to have some unscheduled time and just do stuff around the house. The weather was also great but that time change kicked my butt on day 1. Of course that means Anna's body clock is up at 6:30am instead of her usual 7am. And that shouldn't have really made me feel tired, but the whole shift of the day really did a number on me and by 7:00pm, she was passed out and I was in bed by 7:30! Maybe I'm getting old. Dang.

I ran 6 miles on Saturday, which is good since I didn't run at all last week since my running group was at the launch all week. The launch that was ultimately scrubbed due to leaks. As I finished up my run, I ran into D, whose husband is on this flight. She and her husband were hanging outside while repair men worked on a gas leak at their house. What do you say to a crewmember who should be in space right now, but after a week of waiting around to launch, then scrub, then launch, then scrub, and finally "there's a leak and then a crack and oh my, we need to work this for real, and everybody go home and we'll fix this and try again in late Nov/early December". So I said something stupid about "welcome home" and "Discovery is my favorite ship" and yes, even the ultimately dumb, "when I was a space camp geek, that was my ship!" (Don't worry, I said it in a I know this is geeky tone of voice that elicited a few laughs). And finally, "well, we're all rooting for you guys! Time to get my last two miles in, see ya!"

Lord.

On this morning's run I asked D how the leak went. She started a long monolog about an umbilical plate and a team working to figure it out and I didn't even get what she was saying till she was done. She had a great laugh and moment of perspective when I told her HA, I'd meant the LEAK AT HOME, NOT THE SPACE SHUTTLE LEAK! It was an interesting take on what was on the front of her mind and we were all pretty well caught off guard by it! To be an astronaut's wife...interesting insights.

At the last minute this morning I decided not to sign up for this next boot camp class. The schedule of getting home in time to shower and take care of Anna while juggling Paul's clinic schedule is more than I really want to go through again. DAMMIT if my boot camp instructor didn't just email me: "WHERE WERE YOU?!" Called out. Crap.

Gymnastics

Last year, Anna took dance class from Jan through June. She liked it for the most part but it wasn't something she really asked to do or even asked much about. Some days were easier than others to rush home, squeeze her into her tights, and get over to class by 6:30 on Wednesdays, and frankly it stressed my schedule too. By the time the season ended, I was glad and she was indifferent. We had decided we were not enrolling her into anything again until she was old enough to decide what it was she did want to participate in.

Lately she's been going around the house, "Watch ME, mommy and daddy!" while attempting cart wheels, crab walks, and robot walks (whatever that is). She likes to jump far and run around. So we were thinking it might be time to try gymnastics, and last night we took her to the 5:45pm class, which is really conventient for both mine and Paul's schedules, and the location is too. At first she was excited, but then didn't want to let go of Paul's leg to be left alone in the new big class. The teachers weren't exactly much help in getting Anna to be comfortable or join in, so Paul took her out of the gym, where we started talking to her about doing it on her own or we would leave. Finally, one of the teachers came over, stuck out her hand to Anna, said, "I'm Emily, what's your name?" Anna replied and took her hand and off they went. She had the best hour doing jumps, swinging from an acrobat hand bar thing into a foam block pit, rolling, cart wheeling, balancing, walking backwards, going through tunnels, and all kinds of stuff. Paul and I were shocked at how much she could do we didn't know about (likely learned from Tumblebus at school), and when it was over, she started crying because she didn't want to leave!

So there it is, every Thursday night at 5:45. She wants to go back already and keeps talking about it, even this morning. We'll keep going as long as she's having fun!

Halloween Cuteness