Dear Anna,

You're a really good kid so far. You have kindness, silliness, and seem to have an inherent sense of right from wrong, and it goes a long way. Thank you for being kind to us. We love you and will treat you the same.

Throughout my lifetime, I have seen time and time again children yelling at their parents. I don't mean just young children like you...I mean teenagers and adult children too. How any child can treat a parent so badly has always been beyond my comprehension. And now, as a parent, it completely floors me to think of what it must feel like to have my own (grown) child treating me that way. Mostly, a parent put this child on this planet out of love. Not to be cursed at, verbally abused, and disrespected, especially as a grown adult child. It's something a parent couldn't have forseen, isn't it? No mother looks down at their precious baby and thinks, "some day you're going to verbally or physically abuse me until my self worth has depreciated my soul into complete loss."

So where is the respect for the mother lost? It's obvious if the mother is verbally or physically abusive. But what if the mother did her best under life's circumstances? Don't we ALL try to make the best choices in life, given the situation? Especially when it involves our kids? Is the respect lost when the mother shows weakness through giving too many gifts? Or perceptively not enough? Does the child get drunk on the power in treating a mother like dirt instead of the human being that brought their soul into this world in the first place? A way to control one thing (and a human, at that) in a world where they feel like they've lost control of everything else?

Anna, we brought you into this world out of love. At the same time, you chose us as parents. My hope for you is probably the same as any mother has for her daughter: happiness, safety, and love. Not to sound cliche, and not that I mean to rush you through your little life, but when I look at you, I can really see the woman you're going to become. I hope that I can teach you kindness, self-confidence, independence, and love. I hope I can teach you to accept love while recognizing your self worth and not being treated like a door mat by others. You can navigate this world with strength, positive attitude, spirituality, and love if you have the right guidance. Since you chose us, I am confident you'll do great.

At times I do feel like I might be helicoptering too much, smothering you a bit. I suspect that this is what leads to "spoiled only children" so I try to find a line there without just hovering too much. I try to back off and let you do your own thing, but my nature is generally to be helpful (or at least resourceful) in this world. Plus I'm still technically new at this and since you're our first and only, I'll always be technically new at this. I wonder if I'll be able to avoid meddling in your life too much when you're grown up, or giving too much advice. Then I think that since I hate drama at my core, I'll be able to butt out at the right times. But will I butt out too much?

I think that most moms feel this way. Plus my general feeling is that you're a soul like we are, though young in this body, as we were when we started out, and even though you're only 3, you do deserve some level of respect from your parents as you're navigating through this go-round. We hope that's something you recognize as you grow and contributes to your self worth as you find the right balance with humility.

Ultimately, you should know that your parents are both smart, hard-working, very fulfilled and tuned-in people who believe that if you do what you love, and be who you are, that you will find joy during your life here with us. There's no need to be cruel and angry. There's no need to feel like life's unfair or you've been treated poorly. These are perceptions that are only internal and they're not reality. I hope you never let those thoughts in. Life can be great and fulfilling and it is ultimately what you make of it. Your dad and I hope to set a good example of this, even in the face of tough times that I think no human can ultimately escape.

Anyway, in the end, there's never a reason for you to treat us like those other children treat their parents. We're here to do our best in our lives and in yours. And since this is your life, you should do your best (as we are) to make the most of it too.