13 years in this house

Last night I had a dream that we had finally just for real moved out of this house, on to another place, and it was finally, really ok with me.

Not like the previous recurring dreams I always have about us selling this house (either to afford a cheaper apartment-as if these days! Or for a bigger place or for whatever reason). It's a recurring dream I always have had for the past several years: for some reason we have sold the house to move into something different and then realize the horror of our mistake too late. The feelings that come with it are real regret. Sometimes we go back to the house to find that the realtor has totally changed everything we've improved on over the years of living here. Sometimes it's strange to look at the house with a For Sale sign up after we have moved out and then and realize: what have we done? We left awesome neighbors!

All of those memories in that house too! And the great neighborhood we've run through for so many years, and strolled Anna through as a baby. The park we saw upgraded in time for our little girl to play on. The pool I used to swim good laps for NEEMO training, and then later introduced our daughter to at around 2 months old. The birthday parties, the crawfish boils, the hurricane evacuations, Saturday night dinners at our place, kids playing in the back yard, the creation of Paul's clinic right around the corner because we chose for it to be close and part of home. It goes on and on. How could we just MOVE OUT? And just on to a different local neighborhood? Our best friends are just right around the corner. The previous owners lives here for 8 years and had two young sons who are in college now. We bought the house from them and they only moved down the street for a bigger place. Our daughter is about the same age as their youngest was.

I think I have this recurring dream because this house is such a part of us after 13 years here. It is the longest place by far that either I or Paul lived in consistently in our lives since we moved around a lot growing up. With every new memory I am a little saddened knowing that a day will come that others will live here and we won't. For some reason or another. Eventually the energy that we have left behind will be replaced by the new energy of the new owners. Then I snap out of it quickly to just try to enjoy what we have now. But even when living in every moment it's hard to hold on to as you realize how much more quickly time is rushing by. And the move is one day inevitable.