Over the past few years, the paranormal has regained my attention. I'm not sure if it's a result of Anna's birth, or a result of the recent explosion of pop culture's fascination with reality TV about ghosts and stuff. Paul and I started watching Ghost Hunters in its first season 5 years ago, and since then it seems that interest in the paranormal community has just taken off. Or maybe it was always this way and it wasn't apparent to me.
Other than being an astronaut, in high school I seriously considered attending Duke University's degree program in parapsychology. The reason I didn't is because it wouldn't qualify my to be an astronaut. I even did a high school history class presentation on the Shroud of Turin because I'd heard about it somewhere and thought it was neat. Everyone else's presentations were on traditional history.
Anyway, since Ghost Hunters, I've started reading more about the paranormal. And spirit and soul and all the cookey crap that other normal people wouldn't probably read. I've read about past life experiences, reincarnation, life after death, communicating with the "other side". If I am going to read anything for fun, it's in this general realm. But something is missing that I can't understand to find fair and balanced answers to tie it all together. And I think it's an understanding of all the various religions. If I could go back and get another degree, it'd be in religious history or theology. But let's face it, I barely have time to do a Wikipedia search on John. The one in the gospels of the New Testament.
Over lunch with a friend, CS, a few weeks ago, she encouraged me to come to their bible study group that was just getting started. Uh, no, I don't even belong to a church. There is a reason: I don't like to "belong" to any institution. I have my own way of thinking about stuff and it doesn't fall in any one category. She wouldn't let up so I figured this might be my chance to learn some basics of Christianity in a short course on Sundays, 2-4, during Anna's nap time.
I've attended about 3 or 4 times. They like me because I ask all the hard-hitting questions, and I'm not rude or judgemental. I'm not anti-Christianity or anything. I just want to learn what draws them to follow Christianity over all other religions. They don't mind. They consider it part of their work for God. But it has left me needing to read and read and read, and like I said, unless there's a New Testament book for Dummies, I am drowning in lack of time and sleep to adequately go through the gospels. They told me to start with John, so I did. I didn't understand the first 3 pages of what the heck was going on so I went to Wikipedia. Where I learned that probably John didn't even write the gospel himself, and actually wrote other books that didn't make it to the Bible...and so on...and then I thought: JESUS, stay awake! And then I was out.
I've always thought I was a Christian. "Are you a Christian?" "Sure!" Because this to me meant we just live honestly, try to be nice to each other, and take care of ourselves and others. But as it turns out, I am not a Christian. Because that means you have to be a devoted follower of Christ to even get to God. Like you can only have a relationship with God through Christ. So all those prayers will otherwise be ignored. The good news is that all of those who don't follow Christ and don't have a relationship with God will all go to Hell, but Hell isn't the firey pit we've been taught. It's just that you're not with God. So you're in another place that isn't THAT awful, but just sucks for you because you can't share ultimately in God's love. OK, so I am OK with that since I think a handful of my friends will be there too.
And anyway my idea of God isn't apparently the same as theirs. Though they read from me what Christ says is God (he has human qualities...or vice versa), I hear it unfiltered and it can actually be applied to what my idea of God is (that which does not have any human qualities or plans or judgement). The difference is they use the word "he" and I use the word "It". And everything they read to me can make sense in my mind about what God is, except it's not what they think God is. And their idea of what God is is based on the things Jesus has said.
Which I have not read. So I'd like to know what Jesus has said without being preached to with a slant. To do that, I have to sit down, stay awake, and read. I keep meaning to. But right now there's a series of Jesus documentaries (it's almost Easter you know) that I've DVR'd that would be much more fun and I MIGHT actually stay awake.
To be fair, it's been several weeks since I've stayed awake through a single episode of Ghost Hunters.
Yawn.
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2 comments:
I don't know what version of the bible you are using but I have the new international version which is an easier read compared to king james. You can use it if you'd like.
I went through a similar thing over the past 10-15 years. I was raised in a church going family and knew most of the bible stories. But I became disillusioned by so called christians who were such hypocrites with the way they lived vs what they spoke. I explored numerous other religions looking for something, I don't know what. I mostly just did a quick read of what the basis of the major world religions are including wiccan and those not so main stream. I came to the conclusion that all religions promote love and acceptance of all living things. I can do that without all of the rituals and ceremonies. So, I choose to live by the golden rule and be done with it.
Good luck to you on your journey.
I'm really into the paranormal recently too. My Hubby and I just got back from a trip in Gettysburg at the Farnsworth house doing a paranormal investigation. We got to use all the K2 and stuff like that. I was very cool and worth that trip.
I was raised christian and about 8 years ago started questioning about it. I've very much pulled away from going to church and "studying" the bible, but living by the golden rule. This is what I'm teaching the kids.
Anyways, back to my point. The entire reason I was questioning the religious thing was because of a few paranormal "experience" that happened to me. There are lots of very good books out there about end of life/close to death experience that are worth the read.
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