"Fuatience" (Patience)

Time, time, time. Where is it going? How is it almost October already?

There's so much stuff I want to blog on but my evenings are sucked away with Anna fun and then when she goes to bed I just want to sit and stare at the wall. Or the TV, frankly. Didn't some new fall TV start last week? I bet it's on the DVR somewhere.

I started teaching undergrad Human Phys again and we just had our first exam. What I thought would be a class of much more interested and motivated individuals than my last semester, but this class bombed the first exam with an average of only 62. I could strangle them but I don't have the energy. Instead they'd better pull themselves out of it.

I ran into the student who begged me to pass her last semester (she passed herself, barely) because her dad was going to give her $1,000 and she had plans for Vegas and NYC only if she graduated (remember, it's the same girl who cheated). She was working at the university when I ran into her the first night of school a few weeks ago. Turns out she graduated but never traveled. I didn't ask for elaboration. It's called Karma. Cheater.

How's work? FANTASTIC! I still love it and I just put out my first two publications for the office, that I got to first-author. They're review articles on some of the science that's been done on the International Space Station since its beginnings. It was lots of learning and hard work on my part but very cool. Sadly, I've since caught a few minor mistakes but it's on its way to print so what are you gonna do? Ah well... Currently we are planning for a meeting that will be held in Paris with the top ISS scientists in November. How great will this be? I've never traveled overseas, so this will be fantastic, on top of getting to meet top scientists and astronauts in ISS. Geek-out! Paul was going to come with me but he can't take the time away from the busy clinic (which is just as well because I'm not ready to leave Anna with both of us being so far away from her!). In January I am going to an AIAA conference where my chief is presenting in Orlando and then one in Berlin on ISS Utilization. I am loving the international aspect of this position. I have gotten to work with our international Space Station Program Scientist counterparts all over the world.

I've also gotten to have small working meetings with top NASA agency officials to discuss ISS utilization planning. I am actually playing a real role in the future use of ISS. And how often is it you have a casual conversation with your boss about "Hilary" or "Al" or the like? I'm really holding back here because I think I should use discretion about some of the stuff we talk about and just posting them out here to an open blog. But seriously, I am still thrilled to be here. It's such a different world. Every day I go home feeling like I've been productive and I get to work with some great people. To the point I'm tired ;)

Paul's clinic is going really well. Like too busy. Rediculously-growing-out-of-his-current-clinic size-busy. I'm not sure how he holds it all together. But I am so glad it's successful. To blog on this would take a whole other post.

Anna is growing up fast. I wish I could blog every silly thing she tells me or does but if you've ever been a parent of a 2.5 year old, you know it comes at you so fast and frequent you can't keep up. This is a fun age. This weekend she told me (correctly) to have fuatience ("patience"). The tones and words she uses to talk to us, you'd swear she was already a teenager. She's gone from mommy and Daddy to "Mom" and "Dad". She is sweet, funny, and pretty. Though the past 3 days she's been pushing our buttons and testing her manipulation skills. This week she likes to purposely do the opposite of what we say...not in a rude way, but just in a way like: "yeah, whatever, I make up MY OWN MIND on what I want to do MYSELF! And so I refuse to do exactly what you tell me. Directly or INdirectly." It's resulted in a rough week this week with sweet cutie mixed in with moody teenager. I guess that's what's to love about toddlers. But I honestly liken it to being around someone who's high maintenance and this week had been extra rough so by bedtime, my patience has worn so thin Paul has had to pick up the bath and bedtime routine the past 2 nights. (The worst is that my patience this week has been weakened by sinus pain/pressure so my tolerance to "crap" is extraordinarily low to begin with). This is the first high maintenance person I've had so much love for so I can't simply ditch her like a high-maintenance aquaintance. Like other moms of toddlers, I've told myself over and over to "have fuatience, mommy" to exhaustion. Besides, most high maintenance people are way less cute ;) But I do love watching her grow up, even though it makes Paul a little sad. I think it's really fun to watch her turn into a little person, right before our eyes.

She had her 2.5 year check-up yesterday, complete with a flu shot and HiB vax. She did really great and was giggly and nice with the doc till she was stabbed painfully for her shots. She screamed appropriately, then got over it with a few stickers. Overall I say she did GREAT. She's 35 and 3/4" tall and 32lbs. 50th %ile for height and 80th for weight. Pretty good although I think she was squatting a little.

She's loving school and her new teachers. I stopped by during naptime this week to see what their routine looks like and it looks pretty peaceful. She was sleeping and so her teacher and I had a chat. She said Anna is a natural leader and is also the first to give hugs or help to a friend. Ofcourse I think teachers get paid to say this to every parent (way to put a positive spin on the fact she's a bossy butt), but if she is telling the truth then Anna has a good mix of Paul and me that is coming out ;) It just seems she is now one of the older kids in her new class, whereas she used to be the youngest. So I think naturally she's going to be more engaged (I've even heard her TATTLE on a kid). Even though she has her tantrums and acts out like a typical toddler can't help but do, it's still clear she's an innate rule follower like her mommy.

Anyway, she comes home with more "art work" now than EVER so it's all piling up around the house. As if a toddler lives here. Her teacher says her best friend is Karmalina (Together since babies) and that there's a third little girl who's trying to muscle into the friendship and they're being protective. WHAT? Is this high school or pre-school? She's 2.5 years old and the dynamics already start. Look at us: social beings from the beginning. Silly humans.

Paul got me an IPod Touch for my birthday. Interesting because I never asked or hinted for it. I guess he was just listening to more subtle cues that even I was of myself because it's turned out to be a very helpful tool. Like when I learned the magic of owning a DVR system. How much more efficient is my life now that I can clean the house while listening to a podcast of Darkness Radio instead of in silence? Heck, I'd never heard a podcast before of anything. Weather? BOOM, 2 seconds flat (well, wherever there's WiFi). No logging in, no waiting. I even have Twitter and Facebook apps right THERE when I ask for it, and oh guess what?! It magically synched up with my NASA calendar and email so I know my schedule in an instant! Paul said he got it for me to watch movies/podcasts on all of the travel I do. That's darned thoughtful and even fun. I don't really have time for fun little things like this but if I can multi-task while doing it, it's justified :)

Plus there's an app to help me study piano. Which is handy considering I lack the energy to practice as much as I need to. Notice I used the word "energy" instead of "time". I can make the time in the evening to practice. But is it sad I don't have the brain energy to focus on it? At the end of an intense day my brain shuts down as soon as it can lately. And since Mother Nature has taken away some perfectly good sunshine by 7:30pm these days, I shut down mental function way too early.

And speaking of energy, Paul gets home too late for me to go running before it gets dark these days. I can kinda feel a little anxiety creeping in on that looming half marathon in Jan. Right now, even one mile may as well equal the whole 13.1. In the mronings I do Turbo Jam early before Anna wakes. Even though smiling party girl Chaylene is really tough to take at 6am. Ugh. Despite her party attitude, I have to admit, it's good exercise for this body that's just gone embarrasingly soft. It's nice to push myself physically like that daily.

Lately I've become aware that my time is not my own in the day-to-day ops of things. If I get up early enough I can have a say, but after that, it's all over. I guess I always knew this in the back of my mind but it's never really been front-and-center. So I started to feel "woe is me" about this. But I can't think of another mommy/daddy out there who doesn't also feel the same way. So I'm not special, and since I'm not special in this regard, I don't get to complain. So instead of complaining, just consider it an acknowledgement of what all other parents out there already know (duh!): my time is just not my own. Acceptance. That helps a whole lot!

And that was the case on yesterday for my birthday. So for those of you who sent texts, emails, and voicemails my way and I didn't even return your calls, I'm so sorry...the business of the day didn't stop and that included until I passed out last night around 9pm from exhaustion. I'm sure it's just my immune system fighting off allergens, and not a result of the fact that I'm a year older :)