Well the pediatrician had to call it something to charge our insurance...after an epic battle of mommy vs Toddler in getting her to keep her shirt on, literally and figuratively, I decided a conference with a professional in toddler behavior was in order. Paul and I wanted to get a feel for if this is some real sensory issue for her or if she was just being a control freak like her mother. Anna's pedi is out of town so we saw a back-up. Given Anna's history etc etc etc, sounds like it could be that she hates the restriction and the tantrums (major, out of con trol ones by the way) about putting her shirt on and buckling the seatbelt stem from a very real feeling of uncomfort and the total loss of control. I'm sure it's true of most toddlers who take issue with the car seat. The pedi had a car seat screamer too and at least could empathize. But all we can do is power through the screams and struggles and pull the car over when she squeezes out.
That is, until someone sees me wrestling with my "innocent" toddler in the back seat and calls CPS. I swear I am waiting for my phone to ring.
The weird part about all of this is: why NOW? Why all of the SUDDEN? We had this exact same phase for almost 2 weeks back in May (remember?) but powered through it by waiting it out, blaming the teething, and giving back the paci.
We can't find anything to blame (some major developmental spurt maybe?), and she's a lot bigger and harder to deal with than in May. And yesterday, out of desperation, I gave the paci back in the car. It was a painful decision after having been successfully paci free since August, but here we are. In the long run we figured weaning off the paci later would be less painful than a development of a car seat aversion so we went with it. It didn't help yesterday. I had to pull over 4 times to get her back into the car seat on the way home. I yanked the paci and kept it as a bargaining tool. But in the end, she was too crazed to care.
The sad thing is she really WANTS to be good in the car seat. She will get into the truck and say she's not going to cry in the car seat and then when the belts come on, she starts to squirm and is obviously uncomfortable. That turns to screams and we're off! Is this what the toddler articles mean when they say toddlers hate to be strapped into the car seat? Are they all this crazy?
In May she screamed till she threw up once. This time she's screamed till she passed out. I feel like her throat must be sore from all of the screaming! All I want to do is hug her when we get home because she is so incredibly distraught but there has to be Time Out served first.
For some strange reason, this morning's car ride started out a bit rough but never got into screams or cries. Somehow she got comfortable and held back when she wanted to act crazy. I went into overtime using everything from stuff outside to her toddler music as a distraction to keep her cool (don't think I haven't tried all of this already, because I have - it's the obvious tactics, and they hadn't worked these past 2 weeks). For some reason today we got through. The straps were loose while still safe, and her hand was down her shirt for some reason that was comforting, but she was comfortable and it was a pleasant ride. I wonder if the ride home will be OK. There's nothing like being horribly screamed at by someone you just want to love to completely ruin your day.
It occurred to me this morning to ask her teacher if I could leave Anna's car seat in the class room today and let the kids all get a lesson on wearing their seat belts. She said that it was the perfect fit for their health/safety hour today and so she would focus on being safe in the car seat. My thought is that if she sees her friends do it, she might be OK too. But I'd be interested to see how this turns out. I suspect Anna will realize it's HER car seat and not let anyone else sit in it. Will she let the teachers buckle her in with no grief? Hmmmm...at least it's a creative idea I am giving myself credit for attempting ;)
As if this car seat and now shirt thing weren't bad enough, it's just in time for us to go out of town and for her to spend the weekend with Paul's mom. Paul drops her off on Friday (after a 3 hour car ride...during which she might scream herself into a coma) and pick her up on Monday. Paul gave his mom the background on this car seat thing and it sounds like it runs in his family! SO IT'S ALL HIS FAULT. I hope he got the point across to her seriously, that this could get surprisingly ugly. What's worse is he told me she plans to bring Anna out to the camp, which requires a car ride of about 45 min to Morgan City, then a brief boat ride, which would be fun for Anna except the fact that she's going to lose her mind when they put the life jacket on her...
I'm not sure how I'll enjoy myself this weekend knowing Anna's possibly making Paul's mom as nutso as she's made us over this restrictive thing. I can only hope the phone calls will say that she's being great (maybe the new environment will make her forget her hatred of the car seat). In the meanitme, I'm not sure how many shirts I'm supposed to pack for her since she cycles through about 5 every morning, in beteen Time Outs, until she finds one semi-comforatble. Then I get on a plane for Paris on Tuesday afternoon, for a full 7 days gone. So there's mega guilt of leaving Paul alone with no moral support for Anna's current state of insanity on top of the typical travel mom guilt I already have.
So my first trip overseas will be bitter sweet. BTW, this Paris trip is for my job, oui, oui!
This morning Anna's teacher showed me (proudly, I might add) her potty training sheet. She had a ton of stars for pee-peeing on the potty (her teacher calls it tee-tee...ick) and is doing really fabulous! We're very nearly "there" with the potty. Whatever that means...
Lord.